Reconciling the Violence in His Heart
by Besame Cullen
Summary: AH Jasper & Edward Slash Don't like, don't read. A man who lives for revenge, risks all to save the life of an innocent. Inspired by Muse's "Undisclosed Desires."
1. Undisclosed Desires

Reconciling the Violence in His Heart

Slash AH Jasper & Edward Don't like, don't read. A man who lives for revenge, risks all to save the life of an innocent.

A/N When I first heard Muse's new song "Undisclosed Desires," I had a very clear image of Jasper and Edward together. If you haven't heard the song yet, please go listen, I love how sensual and beautiful it is. I'll post a link to the lyrics on profile page.

This is my first man love story.

JPOV

I sat at my daddy's bedside. His color was a little better today, but I was concerned with how tired he was. I hated to see the cancer chipping away at him – the man who was always so strong.

His sharp gaze assessed me, and he gave a slight smile. "Jasper, you haven't left this house in a month. You need to get out and enjoy yourself. Find yourself a young man."

I shrugged as my face flushed, "You need me now, Daddy."

He squeezed my hand, "Son, I appreciate you being here, but you need a break. Go have some fun."

Well, I had heard about a new club… "You sure, Daddy?"

"I'm sure. Besides, I have Maria to baby me."

I gave him a gentle hug and left to change. Maria married my father a few years ago. I was glad that he was happy, although I'd been surprised that he'd married someone so much younger than himself. Maria seemed very nice; I'd gotten to know her more over the last month than in the last two years as I'd been away at college.

As I walked downstairs, my eyes glanced over several dangerous and lithe looking people strategically placed at the doors. They had been brought in by Maria for protection. Daddy had been a rich oil man for decades; I wasn't sure what had changed to require this much muscle.

Maria stood at the foot of the stairs flanked by two of her staff, Bruno and Tony. Bruno was built like a house, all muscle but it was tempered by his good looks – black hair, laughing blue eyes, and a quick smile, complete with dimples. Tony was much more reserved. He was slightly taller than me, his hair an unusual shade of bronze and styled in a way that brought to mind Brando or James Dean from the old movies. His piercing emerald eyes missed nothing. The only imperfections to his strong face were a scar near his right eyebrow and his patrician nose had been broken a time or two. But these only added character to his beautiful face. He wore a dark green, silk button-down, black slacks, and Gucci loafers. The man was sex on a set of long, fine legs.

I looked away as I thought about how I'd jerked off thinking about him pounding me into a mattress.

I leaned down and gave Maria a peck on the cheek, "I'll be out late tonight."

She smiled and squeezed my arm, "Have fun, Jasper. You deserve it."

I straddled my new motorcycle, a Triumph Street Triple R (A/N picture in profile), a gift to myself for busting ass on my thesis. I usually wore a helmet even though it was not required by Texas law, but tonight I decided to ride with the warm Texas wind through my hair.

I roared off the estate, barely waiting for the security gates to open before riding off.

J&E&J&E&J&E&J&E

EPOV

"Tonight," Maria clipped out.

I gave a slight nod as I watched Jasper Whitlock lope down the stairs, he wore a white button-down with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms and unbuttoned at the collar. The white drew attention his sun kissed skin. His long legs and fine ass were encased in tight black jeans. On his feet were well worn cowboy boots. I'd never considered cowboy boots sexy until I'd seen them on him.

He carried himself with the easy grace of a surfer, and his honey blond curls and large, soft brown eyes furthered the laid back, carefree facade. But beyond being amazingly handsome, Jasper was kind, generous, and brilliant. His Master's thesis at MIT involved a software prototype which promised to revolutionize computer usage by those with disabilities. The big boys in the tech world were already pounding on his door.

I felt his gaze and saw the heat as he looked me over. As much as I liked knowing that he found me attractive, I had a job to do.

Unaware of the one word order to take his life, Jasper leaned in and kissed his black widow stepmother on the cheek.

"I'll be out late tonight," he said in his soft Southern drawl. My dick, with an agenda of its own, twitched at the huskiness of it.

Maria smiled and squeezed his arm, "Have fun, Jasper. You deserve it."

After he left, she waved her hand beckoning Jane to her, "Take Jane with you," she directed me.

It took everything in me not to grimace. If she wanted Jane there, she didn't just want Jasper dead, she wanted him to suffer.

I gave a cocky grin and a shrug, "Sorry not enough room."

Bruno chimed in with a leer and pelvic thrust, "Unless you want to sit in my lap."

Jane scowled darkly, as Maria clucked at Bruno. "Fine, report back as soon as it's done."

As we exited the house, I watched Jasper tear out off the estate grounds on his motorcycle. He looked like a fallen angel fleeing from the gates of Hell.

Bruno and I climbed into my classic Corvette Stingray (A/N picture on profile). Bruno provided directions based on the GPS tracking we had on Jasper's phone.

We entered the parking lot the new exclusive gay club called "The Equinox." As I pulled to a stop, a gun cocked and was placed against the side of my head.

Bruno growled, "I can't let you kill the kid, Tony."

I calmly replied, "Good, because I plan to get him out of here alive. You can trust me, Emmett," revealing that I knew the true identity of my associate of over two years.

There was an intake of breath from the large FBI agent, and the gun was removed.

I turned and met his guarded expression. "Wait in the car and then meet me around back in 20. I'll get the kid gone."

He scanned my face carefully and then nodded.

"And don't fuck with my music."

"Tony, too much of that emo shit will make me want to off myself." He cracked.

"Classical music is not emo. You'd think you Quantico boys would be more refined." I winked at him.

I provided my ID at the door and was greeted by the owner. Clearly my reputation as one of Maria's enforcers was known here as he nervously welcomed me to the club, offering me what most of the club goers didn't know was available here, drugs and rent boys. I politely refused but accepted a drink as I scanned the bar and then dance floor for Jasper. The club was dark, crowded, loud, but it didn't take me long to spot the man who now starred in all my fantasies.

J&E&J&E&J&E&J&E

I smiled good naturedly at the cute, little thing who nervously asked me to dance. While I liked dominant men, I didn't mind giving the younger man some fun. I guided the small, dark haired guy out onto the dance floor, turning him so that his back was against my chest. I gripped his hips and gently grinded up against his pert little ass in time to the techno beat. I felt his body quiver in excitement. I hoped he wouldn't be too disappointed that this wasn't going any further than a dance. I closed my eyes briefly as I thought about Tony. Lord, that man was hot. When I reopened them, he was there, at the edge of the dance area, as if thinking about him had made him appear to me. The clubs lighting shone of his pale skin in an alluring way, giving him an almost vampiric look. Fuck, there was something to add to my shower jerk time. I heaved in a breath at the thought of Tony's teeth anywhere near my body.

As I locked eyes with him, I ran a hand up to my dance partner's nipple and circled it slowly. He groaned at my touch, but my focus was on Tony. He just stood there watching. Gloated on, I pinched the nipple I'd been circling. He squeaked and then giggled before pressing back against my groin with a little moan. Still nothing from Tony. My hand slowly traveled down his chest and flat tummy to cover his erection. Tony's eyebrow raised, and I responded by squeezing the package I was holding. The twink cried out in rapture, and Tony cocked a finger and gestured me to him. There was no doubt that I was going to answer that call. I whispered my apologies to the young man and detached myself. Unfortunately, he trailed after me, not ready to let me go.

As I stopped in front of Tony, the boy started to whine, but stopped after seeing the glare on Tony's face. The little dude stomped off in a huff. I'd normally have felt very badly for my unkind behavior, but nothing else mattered as Tony turned me and pulled me back up against him. Jesus, he felt so good. We danced together effortlessly, and as the song continued on, he pressed his erection against me, and I responded by grinding my ass back against him. We both moaned at the contact. His lips brushed across my ear as one of his hands possessively caressed my stomach.

"Want you so much, Jasper." He husked in my ear, his Chicago accent roughened with lust. My cock jerked as if directly linked to his voice.

I shivered and ground myself back against him in response. His breathe hissed out, and he nipped gently on my ear. I moaned at the unexpected fire that surged through me at the simple touch.

The hand on my hip suddenly tightened and the other on my stomach stilled. He cursed softly and then turned me in his arms, pulling me up close. He nuzzled along my jaw and then whispered in my ear, "Jasper, I need you to trust me. Your life is in danger."

I stiffened, and he tightened his arms around me, "There are men here to kill you. I can protect you."

"Wha…" His lips crashed down on mine, silencing what I was about to ask. He pulled back and said, "Hushpuppy."

Daddy trusted Tony, that's the only way he'd know my childhood nickname. I leaned in and kissed him. "I'll do whatever you tell me," I said against his lips.

He kissed me once more quickly and said, "Good."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd to the back of the club.

"Through here," he commanded as we entered a hallway, his eyes watching the crowd behind us.

J&E&J&E&J&E&J&E

EPOV

I felt a surge of jealousy as I watched Jasper dance with the smaller man. I had no right to think it, but I wanted him to be mine. I schooled my expression as he gazed at me and teased me by sending his little twink partner into a tizzy. I signaled for him to come to me, half expecting him to flip me off and continue seducing his enraptured dance partner. I stamped down the pleasure as he quickly made his way to me. I glared at the outraged twink who'd followed in his wake. Apprehension of my presence quickly overcame lust, and the boy stormed off in a huff.

The plan was to get Jasper to leave with the club with me. Emmett would cover us as we left. I'd get him out of town and then explain what was going on.

I turned him and pulled him back up close. I couldn't resist grinding my cock against his denim clad ass, and he ground right back into me. He moaned along with me. I ran my hand over his stomach, wanting…wanting so badly.

"Want you so much, Jasper." I barely realized I spoke out loud.

He ground back against me again, and I hissed out as my cock jerked in pleasure. I nipped his ear, careful not to hurt, and was rewarded with another moan as he shivered against me.

The reason why I'd turned Jasper away from me was so I could watch the entrance without him being aware of it. Two guys that were new to Maria's payroll were arguing with the doorman.

"Fuck." I muttered, and turned Jasper towards me to block our faces from view. I ran my mouth along his jaw and found his ear again. With as much sincerity as I could convey in the loud room I said, "Jasper, I need you to trust me. Your life is in danger."

He stiffened, and I tightened my arms around him not wanting him to run, "There are men here to kill you. I can protect you."

"Wha…"

We didn't have time to waste. I stopped him with a kiss and said the word that his father had given me in confidence, "Hushpuppy."

He leaned forward and kissed me in return. My heart gave a double beat. "I'll do whatever you tell me," he said against my lips.

Unable to help myself, I kissed him once more and said, "Good."

I grasped his hand and quickly guided him through the crowd to the back of the club.

"Through here," I instructed as we entered a hallway, watching the crowd behind us.

Emmett was leaning up against the car with his arms crossed, pistol in hand. Jasper stopped, and I dragged him forward by the arm.

"Felix and Demtri came in through the front." I opened passenger door, and Jasper climbed in. "Stay here and stay down." I said, and pulled my gun from the ankle holster as Emmett approached the back door.

Felix and Demtri emerged from the club just as Jane and Alec rounded the corner. I shot Alec and missed Jane before crouching down at the rear of the Vette. A bullet whizzed by as Jane approached. I sprang up and fired. She screamed out as she fell.

I quickly turned to assist Emmett. Felix was down, but Emmett and Demtri were trading shots down the alleyway. Emmett took a hit and went down. Demtri came forward, and I yelled as I targeted and hit center mass. Demtri went down in a heap. I quickly confirmed there were no more threats before checking Emmett.

"You okay?" I asked as I examined the leg wound.

"I'll be okay. Need to get the kid out."

I nodded and punched in the number for 911. I reported the location and officer down. I gave Emmett his gun and my phone and jumped in the car.

I floored it and screamed out of the business district and onto the highway. Only then did I look over at Jasper. He looked scared but alert. I said, "Give me your phone," which he gave me without question. I rolled down my window and threw it out.

"Shit, the tracking." He muttered, and I smiled grimly, thankful that he understood.

In the next town over, I ditched the Vette for a Volvo. Jasper helped me take the bags from the trunk and move them over to newly acquired, lower key car.

As I drove, he dropped into an uneasy sleep.

I dialed my other phone. "Rose, he's safe. What about his father?"

Rose replied, "Maria's lying low right now. Too much attention with Jasper's apparent kidnapping for her to make a move on the dad."

"Good. Let me know when and where it's safe to bring him in."

"Need you to be out for awhile. Maria's still got hitters out."

"Will do. How's your man?"

"He'll live. I'll be sure to nurse him back to health personally."

I chuckled, "You do that for all your men, Assistant Director Hale?"

"Only Emmett."

A/N Answers to who Tony/Edward is and why Jasper's stepmom wants him dead will be provided, I promise.


	2. Weathered

A/N Thanks for reviewing or adding me to your alerts! My song inspiration for Tony/Edward in this chapter was "Weathered" by Creed. I've added a link to the lyrics on my profile page.

The gangs mentioned below are fictional but are somewhat based on La Mara Salvatrucha or MS-13 and the California prison gang, the Mexican Mafia.

Finally, this is an M rated story for a reason. You've been warned.

EPOV

With hitters still hunting for Jasper, it was imperative to not only get him out of the Dallas area, but completely out of Texas. I drove until we were well into Oklahoma. Avoiding all major cities, I found a dinky little town that had a dive hotel with vacancies, and more importantly each room had outside exits. Hotels with hallways were a good way to get you killed.

I parked the Volvo on the side not visible from the road. Jasper began to wake up. He stretched and rubbed his eyes and looked around curiously.

"I'm going to get us a room for the night. You stay here. Don't want anyone to see you."

"Okay."

I got out of the car, not liking that I was leaving him, but there was no other way. I paused and leaned back down to peer at him through the open door. I reached over and turned off the dome light, as there was enough light in the parking lot to see him dimly. I didn't want others to see him clearly, as his blond hair was easily recognizable.

"You know how to shoot?" I asked.

He gave me an impish smile, "Shit, Tony. I'm Texan. Didn't you know we're born armed?"

Sensing my impatience, he continued, "Yeah, I'm familiar with guns. I did target practice for years and hunted with Daddy."

I indicated to the glove box. "Gun's in there."

The hotel attendant barely looked at me as I asked for a room ground level. I paid cash for a single bed room, the only one they had left. This suited our purposes well. It was better that it seemed I was alone.

The room turned out to be near where the Volvo was parked. Jasper saw me coming, handed over the gun discreetly, and began grabbing the bags without being prompted. I liked that. Kid was not only smart but practical. This boosted my confidence that he'd make it though this alive.

We set the bags down in the room. I studied the layout, and decided to claim a chair for the night. I lit a cigarette and offered the pack to Jasper. He sighed as he inhaled. He sat hunched over with his hands dangling between his knees. It's a stereotype that all tops liked short, femmy bottoms. I liked tall, lanky men. I let my mind imagine for a moment those long arms and legs wrapped around me as I pounded into him. Shit, the man was a walking wet dream.

I dragged hard on the cigarette and jetted out the smoke, wondering how I should begin.

Jasper leaned back, meeting my eyes. "You were sent to kill me too, weren't you? I recognized Maria's men."

I nodded, "Yes."

"So why didn't you?"

I looked away, "I don't hurt innocent people. Your dad is a good man, but he was duped. Maria's very good at what she does. Tricks rich men into marrying her, and then they die, leaving her with all their money. She's getting desperate now that your dad has cancer."

"Wouldn't that make her job easier?" Jasper asked with a grimace.

"It would if she was a beneficiary in his will, which she isn't. Your father has listed you as the sole heir to the Whitlock fortune."

"So off me, and the grieving father has no choice but to leave everything to his young widow." Jasper followed though.

"Your death was to be made to look like a gay bashing." He needed to know that Maria had wanted him to hurt badly before he died.

"Fuck." Jasper closed his eyes.

"Have you heard of El Machete or MS7?"

"Yeah, supposed to be one of the most dangerous gang in the U.S."

I nodded, "The FBI treats them like an organized crime group. They operate in small groups called cliques. Maria helps get money to support the cliques by marrying older men and leading the gun running operation in Texas."

Jasper frowned, "But I thought most gangs didn't recruit women. They're used as tools, but aren't given any power."

I was surprised that he knew this. "That's usually true. Maria's older brother, Jose Luis is a big player within MS7, so an exception was made for her."

Didn't hurt that her father was the leader of the Padres, a California prison gang, which despite being behind bars, had power across the country.

"So what are you? A cop? FBI?"

I shook my head and ground out my cigarette in the ashtray next to me. "It's better you don't know who or what I am, only that your father trusted me to protect you."

"So what's the plan?"

"I get you out of the South, and then we lay low for awhile."

He stifled a yawn, and I was wiped. "Take the bed. I'll camp out in the chair."

He looked at me in surprise. "Bed's big enough for both of us to sleep in. I promise not to be a bed hog."

I gave him a look-over full of heat, "Kid, if I get in that bed with you, the last thing we'll be doing is sleeping."

His eyes widened, and his mouth formed a little "o." Fucking adorable.

I pointed to the bag, "I grabbed some of your clothes and things."

"Don't suppose you took my laptop?" He asked hopefully.

I shook my head. "Likely has tracing on it."

He rummaged through the bag and pulled out a t-shirt. He closed the bathroom door behind him, and emerged a few minutes later, wearing a t-shirt and boxer briefs. His modesty was surprising, and I had a panicked moment wondering if he was a virgin. But at the age of 24 and his behavior at the club, it was unlikely.

As he got settled on the bed, I took a piss and slumped back into the chair. I placed the Glock on the table next to me and ran my hand through my hair. I dozed for awhile until I heard Jasper cry out, "No, please don't hurt me."

"Jasper?"

He didn't answer but continued to thrash. I placed a hand on his shoulder, and he calmed. As soon as I moved it though, he became agitated again. I tried to wake him but couldn't. The distressed sounds he made ripped at my heart. I cursed at myself. I couldn't allow myself to feel. Sighing, I stripped down to my underwear and climbed into bed with him, pressing my chest against his t-shirt covered back. I rubbed my face into his soft hair. He calmed and settled back into a deep sleep. I laid there for a long time, savoring the feel of him. As much as I knew that no good could come from it, I was falling for him. With that thought, I drifted to sleep.

J&E&J&E&J&E&J&E

JPOV

It took a long time for me to go to sleep. I worried about Daddy. That woman was a monster. Tony would get us through this somehow, that much I knew.

I fell asleep.

_Demtri held me down as Felix hit and kicked me. My body ached from the beating. I tried to breathe and blessedly, Felix backed away. I looked up to see the gleaming knife in his hand. Sweet Jesus, the look in his eyes. _

"_Please, don't hurt me." I yelled. _

"_Jasper." _

_I turned my head, and Tony stood nearby. I panted in relief. I expected Tony to fight them, but suddenly they were just gone. Tony pulled me into his arms._

"_You're safe, Jasper."_

I woke up in the middle of the night, my face pressed up against a wall of warm muscle. I blinked, disoriented as to where I was. As my brain caught up, I pulled back gently and looked up at Tony's face. He looked younger while he slept. I smiled when I saw his freaked out hair, which looked like he'd had a round of wild sex. I bit my lip at the thought.

Without opening his eyes, Tony murmured, "Sleep, Jazz."

My heart surged at the nickname. His hand cradled the back of my head, pressing me back down to his chest. He stroked my hair, which felt so soothing. I'd seen this man kill others to protect me. I never imagined that he was capable of being so gentle. I quickly dropped back to sleep.

The next time I woke up, I was alone. For a moment, I wondered if I'd dreamed it, but then saw the rumbled pillow next to me.

I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I heard sounds coming from the bathroom. Soon, Tony strolled out only wearing a pair of snug jeans. They hung low on his hips. And I mentally drooled as I took in his tightly muscled torso and the dusting of bronze hair that arrowed down and disappeared under the waistband of his jeans. I noticed that he wore a small gold medallion, had some wicked looking scars, and had a Celtic cross tattooed on his right bicep. Shit, he was dangerous fine.

He said in an amused tone, "So if you're done checking me out, how 'bout you jump in the shower."

I looked up and noticed that his hair was shorter, with sexy little spikes. It was also darker than usual.

He seemed to know what I was staring at, "There's wash-in hair dye in the bathroom. It only lasts a few days."

As I passed him, I asked, "Should I cut my hair too?"

"No." he said quickly, and I paused. He cleared his throat. "Shouldn't need to cut it."

I smiled to myself, as I realized he had a thing for my hair.

I quickly showered and ambled out into the adjoining vanity area. I stopped to check out my hair.

My eyes met Tony's in the mirror. "So, did I miss any spots?"

He husked, "No. Looks good, even when it's mud brown."

Definitely had a thing for my hair. I was pulled out of my thoughts when Tony bit out a curse. I glanced at him in the mirror again, and his face was scary angry as he stalked up behind me. What the hell?

"Who did this to you? I'm gonna' kill'em." He snarled, his hands running over the scars that covered most of my back. I flinched away from him.

"I was attacked by a dog when I was seven." I said quietly. "I don't let many people see my back. Freaked out a few guys I dated."

His hands ran up my arms, and he pulled me against him.. "Fuckheads, assholes, and nerd boys." He growled. "These scars are beautiful."

I snorted in disbelief.

"No, they are. They show you're a survivor."

I hadn't really thought of it that way. The comfort he gave by caressing my back soon turned to sexual heat. I reached down between us and rubbed my hand over his dick, which jerked up to meet me. Well, hello there.

Tony's hand clamped down on my wrist and yanked me away from my new friend. Well, that wasn't very nice.

"Don't, Kid."

Anger flashed hot through me, "What's with this kid business? I don't need another daddy, and I'm old enough to know what I want. I want you."

"You don't know me."

"I trust you. You saved my life."

He glared at me, "I don't do gratitude fucks."

I flipped my hand to capture his wrist, and guided his hand over my towel covered erection. I flicked my hips up to press my dick into the hand that cupped me. "How about 'I've been dreamin' for a month of you fuckin' me' fucks?" I asked, my voice tight with need.

He stared at me intently and then began rubbing me through the towel. I moaned and reached across to return the favor. After awhile, I started slide down, intent on tasting him. He stopped me and pulled me back up. I pouted at him.

He responded by wrenching the towel off my body and throwing it on the floor. He groaned and licked his lips as he slid down my body and captured my dick in his mouth. Shit, that felt good. He fisted what he wasn't licking and sucking, and I was amazed at the sensation. Being a leftie, my dick was used to different points of contact, so Tony's right handed grip evoked a whole new set of pleasure. I moaned out as he fondled my balls, and tried not to buck into his mouth. My hands gripped his shoulders.

"Tony, please fuck me." I gasped out.

He eased back up my body, kissing, licking and nipping as he went. He captured my mouth in a hungry kiss. We were both breathing heavily. He spun me around, and I set my legs in a wide stance, my butt tipped up, with my hands flat on the counter. Instead of going right for the goods, he kissed his way down my back and then licked the indentions on my lower back above my ass. Shit, I had no idea that would feel so good.

His hands moved over my ass and squeezed. He ran a finger down the crease of my ass and circled my hole. I cried out when he pressed the finger gently against me. He reached over to the hand lotion on the counter and lubed up his fingers. He took time to prep me before pushing down his jeans and slipping on a condom. He met my eyes in the mirror. His eyes were heavy with passion.

He paused, "You sure about this?"

I growled out, "Yes" and bucked my ass back impatiently towards him.

He chuckled and lightly smacked my butt. I hissed in pleasure. He slowly entered me, pausing to let me adjust to him. He slowly pushed forward, inch by inch until I was full of him. Fuck, he was big.

He held my hips as he began to pump into me at an easy pace. God, it felt so good, but I wanted more.

"Harder." I moaned.

He picked up the pace and hit at an angle that made me see stars. I cried out in joy. As he slammed into me, my cock slapped against my stomach. I continued to make incoherent sounds, as I felt myself nearing release. He reached around and stroked me as he continued to fuck me.

"Tony!" I yelled as I came in long, hard spurts.

He grunted and tensed. Then he gripped my hips hard and yelled out as he came. He rested his face against the back of my neck and then kissed my shoulder before pulling out. He threw away the condom and wetted a hand towel. Then he gently cleaned my spunk off me. He gave me a crooked grin after he wiped my dick, "So it's true. Everything from Texas really is big."

Fucking charmer.


	3. Lying from You

A/N Thank you readers and reviewers.

Tony's song for this chapter is Linkin Park's "Lying from You." Lyrics in profile.

EPOV

As Jasper dressed, I called Rose.

She snapped at me, "I've been waiting for you to call. What, been too busy amusing yourself with the kid?"

What was meant to be sarcasm hit too close to home, so I remained mute.

"Jesus, Cullen! I thought you had more restraint than that. One night out, and you're already in his pants! You're there to protect him, nothing more."

I only half heard her rant as I pinched the bridge of my nose. Nothing she said was any different than what I already knew. I hadn't meant to go that far. But when I'd seen those scars, I saw red. I just wanted to kill someone. And then when he told me that he'd been rejected because of them. The geniuses at MIT weren't above vanity, apparently. To treat such a decent, beautiful man that way… He was meant to be loved, cherished. And then I thought of what I'd done, taking him from behind like an animal. Fuck, I was a monster.

"…. you know that once this is done you'll never see him again. If Special Agent Black wasn't already assigned…"

I sneered at Black's name. Fucking man child. He was baby faced and wholesome. Everything I wasn't. I hated him for that.

"Maria left town early this morning. Mr. Whitlock is now at a safe house. Black is guarding him."

"I'll let Jasper know. Thanks, Rose."

"Wait, there's more. There's a hit out for you now, Tony." Her voice softened slightly.

"I figured Maria would want my head." I replied.

"The hit wasn't issued by Maria. It came from your uncle."

Shit. Well, that proved that this was the end of the road. I spoke to her a few more minutes and then ended the call.

Jasper had gathered our things and waited patiently. I pulled out a Yankees baseball cap and set it on his head.

"Your father's safe. Maria took off, and he's being protected by the FBI."

Jasper broke into a huge smile, his face glowed. Shit, I could feel the joy radiating off him like a sun. He was so potent, that even my cold heart felt the warmth.

"So that means we can go home?" he asked, excitedly.

I gave him a sympathetic look and shook my head, "Maria's still got a hit out on you, and now there's one out on my head."

Jasper didn't need to know who wanted me dead.

He sat down onto the edge of the bed with a whoosh. "Nothing will ever be the same for you, will it?"

"No. But it was worth it." I said, with conviction. He was alive and that's what mattered.

He looked down and muttered, "Was it?"

I grabbed his chin and jerked his face up, so I could stare intently into his eyes. "Don't you ever doubt it."

The sadness in his eyes wrenched at me. I relaxed my grip and slid my hand over his cheek. I gentled my voice, "Don't worry about me. I've made it through worse than this. We'll get you home before you know it, and all this will fade in your memory like a bad dream."

"I don't want to forget you, Tony." He choked out.

I pulled away, "It would be best if you did. I'm no good for you."

He looked like he was going to argue with me but silently followed after me as I grabbed our bags and headed for the door.

I went through the McDonald's drive thru for breakfast before heading out of town. I frowned, we'd need to stop at the next large town and ditch the Volvo.

Jasper was quiet for a few hours, and I focused on the barren Oklahoma landscape as I drove, constantly looking behind us to make sure we weren't being followed.

Jasper finally spoke, "So what's got you frownin'?"

"Need to get a new car."

He chuckled, "I saw you admiring it as you filled up earlier. What is it about this car? It's like you've got an inner soccer mom."

I glared at him, knowing he was trying to get a rise out of me. "Volvos are built like fucking tanks, and they have amazing handling."

"Oh, really?" he asked, softly challenging.

We were in the middle of nowhere, so I decided to show off a bit. I slowed down and threw the Volvo into a tight spin. I stopped short, reversed, spun again, revved the engine and then peeled out, weaving as I went.

I looked over at his astonished face and smirked, "So do you still think I'm housing a soccer mom within?"

He shook his head and laughed, "But if you steal a minivan next, I'll have to change my mind again."

I mentally shuddered. No chance in hell I would drive a minivan.

I didn't want to go back to the quiet. I was greedy. I wanted to hear his voice.

"So what is 'hushpuppy'?" I asked.

You know those shoes, Hush Puppies, with the basset hound as the mascot?" He paused and I nodded.

"Well, when I was little, I went shopping with my Mama for shoes for a wedding, and Mama looked at the picture said I reminded her of that sad-eyed dog. Hush puppy was her nickname for me."

"Your mom nicknamed you after a dog?" I asked incredulously.

"Here I'll show you why."

I looked over, and he had the most soulfully sad look on his face. His brown eyes drew me in. Shit, I'd do anything to get that look off his face.

"You must have been spoiled rotten with a look like that." I said, returning my focus to the road.

"Worked better than anything Puss 'n Boots dished out." He said cheerfully.

"Who?"

"You know, Puss 'n Boots from 'Shrek'?"

"Is that a TV show?"

"A movie – an animated one."

"Oh, a cartoon. I haven't seen one of those since I was five." I imitated my uncle's soft Irish inflection, "Cartoons are for babies."

Fucker. My innocence ended not that many years later.

I gripped the steering wheel and scowled.

I felt a hand just above my knee. Jasper gave my leg a gentle squeeze as he peered carefully at me. I'd never been around someone so attuned to my feelings. Here I was growling like a wounded animal, and he was brave enough to reach out and provide the comfort I craved but could never ask for.

I gave him a small reassuring smile, and he removed his hand. I immediately missed its presence.

He surprised me by asking, "So what's your favorite color?"

"Brown." I blurted out, without thinking.

Irritated at myself, I said in a snarky voice, "And I'm a Gemini, if you want to know my sign."

"Damn, no wonder we set off sparks. Gems and Pisces are a volatile mix. The lovin' is hot and fierce but there are pitfalls. Pisces place great value in feelings and emotions, and Gems are intensely thought based and may ultimately run from a truly emotional relationship."

Even the stars knew we were doomed.

"So MIT offers astrology classes?" I asked smugly.

"No, I learned a lot from Brandon while we shopped." He replied.

Brandon. Who the fuck was that? Jealously spiked through me as I pictured Jasper together with some smart college guy. Damn it, it would be better if he wanted some one else.

I couldn't help myself and said, "So when you weren't shopping and swapping astrology tips, what did you do? Braid each other's hair?"

Shit, I could be such an ass.

"Naw, neither of us have long enough hair." He returned easily, given me a big smile.

Little shit. I could tell he was yanking my chain again. I smiled despite myself.

"So what's your favorite color?" I asked.

"Green." He replied without pause.

We continued to ask each other questions. He avoided anything personal, such as family and my past, focusing instead on music interests, etc. I learned that he played the guitar and liked to sing. I discovered that his voice was dazzling as he sang quietly along to the radio, those honeyed tones lethally seductive.

I tried to unobtrusively adjust myself when I pulled off the freeway. Jasper singing softly along to Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game," was killing me. That shit was hot.

We stopped at store and picked up supplies. Jasper briefly left my side, and returned before I hunted him down. The check out girl gave him an obvious look over. "Hey, Sugar."

He tipped his cap back, gave her a winning smile, and added his items to what I had already placed on the belt. Condoms and lube. Dear god, the kid was going to be the death of me.

"Are these items together?" She asked as she noisily smacked her gum.

"Yes, they are." He said and nuzzled up against my back.

Her eyes were saucers, and she quickly finished ringing up and bagging our purchases.

I stalked out into the parking lot with Jasper trailing after me. "Way to keep a low profile, Jazz." I growled.

"Sorry, Tony." He whispered.

Jesus, I couldn't stay mad at him. I turned after putting the stuff in the trunk, and made a big production of fixing his cap for him. His eyes warmed at my touch. "Just be more careful. Okay?"

"I will." He promised.

I drove downtown and found a large parking lot with no cameras. I picked out a small SUV and quickly broke in without setting of its alarms. Leaving the Volvo behind, Jasper and I set out for Missouri.

A/N I have nothing against minivans. We actually own one, but Tony/Edward has his own opinions. You're probably wondering who Tony/Edward's mysterious uncle is. All will be reveled in due time, I promise!


	4. Use Somebody

A/N I have to take a bit of a break, as I'm making a wedding present for a friend. Don't worry, I'll be back.

I've added a couple of things to my profile page. The avatar of Rob is my vision of Tony/Edward, or as I like to think of him "Dangerward." Also there is a link of Jackson, which is a good representation of my vision of Jasper. Yummy!

The song for this chapter is "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon. Lyrics are in the profile.

JPOV

I wanted Tony something fierce. All my imaginings of him over the last month had been a pale comparison with reality. I'd never felt anything that strong before, all consuming. He had been amazing, and I wanted more. I usually liked it both ways, but was willing to continue to bottom as everything about him fairly screamed, "top." Not that I minded, while clearly dominant, he had also been tender. I shuddered in memory of how he had caressed and kissed my scar ridden back. I'd never had a man do that before. Usually my back elicited barely concealed disgust or pity.

He had closed down after we left the hotel, and I could see from the look on his face that he felt guilty. Why, I wasn't sure. I was legal and consenting. What more was needed? I was amused at the thought that my cynical protector apparently had some unusually old fashioned moralistic tendencies.

So I respected his "keep away" signals and was quiet while he drove in tense silence. After a few hours, I asked why he was frowning, and when he mentioned needing a new car, I couldn't resist teasing him about the car. I knew that was dangerous, like poking a bear with a stick, but there was something thrilling knowing I could strongly affect him – even with annoyance. I hadn't been prepared for the wild, yet expertly executed moves he put the Volvo through. Shit, I'd never look at Volvos the same way again. His eyes lit with something akin to happiness as he smirked at me, knowing he'd gotten me good. My heart skipped. Jesus, I wanted to see those eyes sparkling like that more often.

The small driving exhibition must have loosened something in him because he asked me about "hush puppy." I was pleased that he seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say, but wondered who in his life had taken away the joy of cartoons at such an early age. It occurred to me that Tony must have had a much harder life than I had. I had the impression that he had been alone during his formidable years. I had always had my daddy, who loved and supported me no matter what, even when I came out at the tender age of 17. And my mama, God bless her, had been my light until she passed from cancer when I was 15. I sure missed her.

College had not been an easy transition for me. I was very shy and introspective, which either got me ignored or teased. The grad program at MIT had been an even bigger change. I missed the laid back, easy ways of the South. At MIT, I was surrounded by people talking rapid fire and never sitting still, like that got more done in the time that we had. I was unfairly pegged as a slacker early on, and people avoided partnering with me. This stung because I could more than pull my weight. Then a new person entered my program, changing everything. Brandon. Blind and from the deepest part of Mississippi, Brandon was even more of an outcast then me. We bonded immediately, and Brandon helped me come out of my shell, to be comfortable with who I was.

As I continued to mess with Tony, I wondered what Brandon would think of him. Probably think I was being stupid wanting to be with someone so dangerous and clearly not relationship material. Probably tell me to return my membership card back to the good people at Mensa. But the heart wants what the heart wants. For as much as I was horny as sin for Tony, I knew myself well enough to know that I was falling him. He didn't think he was good for me, and I aimed to prove him wrong, Mensa be damned.

Later that day, I forgot myself and made a bit of a scene at a store, rubbing myself up against him and such. He got pissed at me, and I felt so bad that I had disappointed him. This wasn't a road trip; our lives were at stake. I could tell that was always at the fore front of his mind. He watched everything with the alertness of a cop or a soldier. And then I went and bumbled it with my lusty stupidity.

I stood by him at the car, miserable. Then he turned and pulled my cap back down. He fussed with straightening it and tucked in the tuffs of hair that had escaped to cover my ears. All the while he gazed into my eyes. I saw everything I needed to see there; likely I saw more than he realized.

He made me promise to be more careful, which I humbly did so. I would not disappoint him again.

We stopped for the night at hotel that was a little nicer than the one before. Still a far cry from the luxury establishments my parents had always frequented. But I understood the need to fly under the radar, and frankly as long as I had Tony with me, I'd sleep about anywhere.

I watched as he placed his gun and a wicked looking knife under the pillow on the side closest to the door before he began to strip down to his underwear. I willed myself to do the same, feeling the tension coming off him in waves. I crawled under the covers and faced way from him.

"Night, Tony." I whispered.

"Good Night, Jazz." He replied softly. I smiled to myself. I loved it when he called me that. Despite everything going on, I quickly fell asleep.

E&J&E&J&E&J

EPOV

I stared up at the ceiling, listening to Jasper's soft, even breathing. The sleep of the innocent, I thought self mockingly. Jazz didn't have shit in his mind that kept him up late at night, hating who he'd become. For the first time in years, I wondered if my life could be different. God, I was fucked. I couldn't afford to lose focus now, not when I was so close to the end of this. I rolled to face the door, thinking of possible places we could hole up.

Jasper emitted a small sigh and rolled towards me. I tensed as he came to rest up against my back, one of his arms slung over my side, and his hand pressed to my chest. I relaxed a little when I realized he was still asleep. Shit, his warm body felt so good. What was I doing? I didn't sleep with men. I scratched the itch and then moved on. It wasn't safe to let myself be vulnerable. But Jazz was different. He didn't have violent agendas. In fact, just being near him calmed the aggression that filled me. So many years I wanted one thing, revenge. Yet now, I felt something I'd never expected – tenderness, acceptance, and comfort. This was crazy. Absolutely insane. He could never be a part of my world, no more than I could be a part of his. But how could something so wrong, feel so perfect?

E&J&E&J&E&J

JPOV

I woke up with my face pressed against that beautiful wall of muscle again, only this time the light filtering through the window told me it was morning. Yesterday he had been up before me, so I hadn't expected to wake up with him still in bed. God, he smelled good. I thanked my lucky stars as I shifted to look at him. As before, I was amazed at how young he looked while he slept. I wondered how old he was. Despite calling me "kid," I doubted he was more than in his late twenties. The sun glinted faintly off his medallion, and curious, I lifted it up slightly to look at it. St. Jude, patron saint of lost causes.

Tony spoke, startling me enough to let the medallion go, "That was my dad's, one of Chicago's finest."

His daddy was a police officer? I peered into his eyes as a range of emotions flitted through them. My breath was taken away by the vulnerability I saw in them.

I raised up on one elbow and reached out with my other hand. He tensed reflexively as if anticipating a blow as it neared his face. I frowned and murmured softly to him as I'd done for Patches, an abused horse I'd cared for. He visibly relaxed as I ran my hand over the stubble that lined his strong jaw. I enjoyed the prickly sensation on my palm and fingers as I carefully watched him, waiting for the "hands off" signal. He closed his eyes briefly. I brushed my finger tips lightly over the scar by his eyebrow.

"Edge of a coffee table when I was three." He husked, his heavy lidded eyes now watching me closely.

Surprised that he had gotten this as a toddler and not in some street fight, I leaned up and placed a small kiss over it.

I pulled back and continued to explore his face. I ran a finger tip over the crook in his nose, wondering if he would tell me how that had happened.

"When I was in prison, a guy thought it was a good idea to get his dick near my mouth."

I was stunned as he continued like we were discussing the weather. "There were six of them. It was the first time I'd killed someone. I lost a kidney from the beating, and I nearly died."

I swallowed the bile that had risen in my throat. Fuck. "Did they…?" I couldn't say the horrible words.

He looked almost feral as he quietly declared, "I was no man's bitch."

I ran my hand through his hair, "How old were you?"

"22."

Shit. I pictured myself a few years younger, worried about starting my Master's degree and fitting in. It seemed so trivial compared to what Tony had experienced.

He rolled, pulling me on top of him, his knees cradling me as he claimed my mouth in a scorcher of a kiss. I moaned and opened my mouth to the press of his tongue. His arms came around to hold me against him as he attacked my mouth. Jesus, he was incredible.

I pumped my hips up against him, and we both moaned as our dicks rubbed against each other.

His hands slid down to cup my butt through the covers, and he pressed up against me. Fuck.

Then something clicked in him, I could tell as soon as it happened. He gentled his kiss and slowly loosened his arms around me. I looked down, and the conflict in his expression was clear.

I smiled softly and gave him one more kiss. I ended it by capturing his bottom lip between both of mine and gently sucked it before releasing it. G-r-o-w-l.

"I've got the first shower." I cheerfully said, and slid off the bed. The confused look on his face was so fucking cute. He'd expected me to argue. Well, I was in this for the long term. My dick would have to wait.

I blasted on the cold and couldn't help the small shriek that escaped as the icy water hit my overheated skin. I wondered if Tony was taking care of himself while I was gone.

I smiled into my towel as he stalked by for his turn in the shower, his boner tenting his boxer briefs like a flag pole. It said a lot that he hadn't pleasured himself. I chuckled when I heard him exclaim, "Fuck, that's cold!"

We stayed to the western part of Missouri. I didn't know where we were going. Tony said it was better that I knew as little as possible. We continued to talk about unimportant things as he drove many hours. I offered to drive, but he turned me down. I liked talking with him. Each thing he said gave me a window into his personality and his thoughts. There was something about his prickly nature that just made me want to hug him, to soothe all that away. Yes, I was a fucking fool.

We'd stopped at a gas station to fill up. We went in for Tony to pay and for me to grab some snacks.

As we left the store, everything happened so fast. Tony shoved me back toward the store. As I fell back against a table lined with jugs of windshield cleaner, I watched in horror as Tony went up and over the hood of a speeding car. "Tony!" I yelled, my heart in my throat.

He staggered to his feet, pulling out his gun, as the car turned for another go at him. As the car bore down on him, he took a steady shooter's stance and began shooting at the driver's side of the windshield. Tony jumped out of the way as the driver slumped, and the car swerved, hitting one of the gas pumps. I gaped at the huge explosion that followed, and then Tony was dragging me to the SUV.

"Are you okay? You were just hit by a fucking car!" I exclaimed, my hands running over his body, checking for damage. I saw blood seeping through the leg of his jeans. He batted my hands away.

"I'm fine. Get in the car."

After we were well out of town and Tony had managed to avoid the police, he pulled out his phone. "Rose, we're in trouble. Yes, that fucking was me. Got it."

He ended the call and said to me. "We need to hole up. Got a place not far from here."

A/N _Mensa_ is the largest, oldest and best known high-IQ society in the world.

St. Jude is patron saint of lost or desperate cases. Also the patron saint of the Chicago Police department. Twilight movie trivia, Bella wears a wooden bracelet of St. Jude.


	5. Into You

Chapter 5

I'm back. Boy, I really missed writing! Good news is my friend's gonna love her wedding present!

This chapter's song is "Into You" by Dead by Sunrise. Link to the lyrics are in the profile.

The song that Jasper sings is "Country Boy" by Freddie King. It's a duet, so Jazz only sings the first part of the song.

Finally, I'm not an expert on meditation or yoga. My knowledge comes from my martial arts training and some research.

EPOV

I drove our newly acquired Subaru 1 ½ hours to the place Rose had indicated. It was a safe house with no recent Fed activity. We were still on our own, as it was too dangerous to come in, even with FBI protection, but at least we had a place to stay for awhile.

It was getting dark as I pulled up to the unassuming house at the end of cull de sac in a quiet neighborhood.

My body was starting to ache as the adrenaline stopped coursing through my system. Shit, that had been close. I sucked it up and prowled around the house in the dark and circled the yard as Jasper trailed quietly along behind me.

I peered around the living room curtains and contemplated a third look around, when I felt Jazz's firm grip on my arm.

"Tony, you've already proven twice now that everything is secure, so the only thing you're likely going to accomplish is scaring the piss out of another cat. It's time for me to take care of you."

"I'm fine." I didn't need anyone taking care of me.

He gave me a 'yeah, right' look and left briefly, returning with the first aid kit and a glass of water. He turned on a small lamp next to the couch.

"You'll need to strip out of your pants so I can see what damage you've got to your leg," he motioned to my lower leg, which was caked with dried blood.

I glowered at him, "Yeah, just couldn't wait to get me out of my pants."

The look of outraged indignation on his face made me forget about being annoyed, and my lips twitched in amusement.

He closed his mouth before he let loose whatever retort he was about to utter. He crouched down to take off my shoes. He looked up at me through his lashes and said in his soft drawl, "I assure you, sir, my intentions are strictly honorable."

The thought of Jasper doing dishonorable things to my body made my pulse spike. I grunted in frustration, unbuttoned my jeans, and shoved them to my knees. I parked my ass on the couch, and Jazz gently slid them off the rest of the way. I hissed as they pulled against the wound, causing it to start bleeding again.

He muttered soothingly to me as he cleaned and bandaged the long gash. He looked up, "This should get stitches, otherwise it will scar."

"Can't risk it," I replied.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" He asked and leaned up to touch me.

I shrugged away from him and winced. In truth, my back hurt like a mother fucker, but I couldn't take any more of Jazz's attention. I'd be fine with some ice and sleep.

"Nope, I'm good. Thanks."

His eyes narrowed. His jaw clenched, causing his jaw muscle to jerk. He was impressive pissed off. He ground out, "You're lying. How am I supposed to watch your back if you aren't honest with me?"

He had a point there, and as much as I thought angry Jasper was fucking sexy, I conceded. "Okay, okay. My back's fucked up. Muscles are spasming like a bitch."

He tugged at my t-shirt, and I let him pull it up and over my head. I winced again. He whistled, "That's some bruise, " his hand hovered over my shoulder but didn't touch.

He reached over to the first aid kit, pulled out one of those bend-to-activate ice packs, and got it situated.

He got me some over the counter pain meds, and then led me the master bedroom.

He commanded firmly, "Lay down on your stomach."

I raised an eyebrow at the tone. I wasn't used to being ordered around. I was the one in control. Always.

He gestured impatiently at the bed with his hands, and his accent thickened, "Go on, git. I need you flat for this."

He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at me.

I suppressed a grin. This take charge Jasper was really something.

I obediently positioned myself on the bed. Jasper clamored up and sat on the back of my thighs. He fixed the ice pack that had started to shift off my shoulder. Then his fingers gently probed my back. He focused on all the parts I reacted to. He gave me an intense massage, and the screaming muscles finally began to relax. He hummed softly as he worked, and I wondered where he'd learned to do this so expertly.

When I asked, he told me how he'd learned because it made his mom feel better when she was sick.

"It must be difficult with your father having cancer after going through it with your mom," I said.

"It is, but Daddy's was caught a lot sooner, so at least the prognosis is better. I sure wish Mama was here for him, though. She was our strength."

"My parents died when I was five." I blurted out. Shit, what the fuck was wrong with me? I wasn't supposed to tell him personal things, and here I went again. I rushed on, "I don't remember much about them. My dad was big and strong. I remember him being huge like Emmett, but he was probably built like me. My eyes are like my mom's. She used to sing to me. I thought she sounded like an angel."

"I'm sorry, Tony. It must have been so hard being without your parents."

"Yeah," I sighed.

"Who's Emmett?"

Shit, I was really losing it. "You know him as Bruno. He was undercover for the FBI."

Jasper made a reflective little sound and said "You seemed like friends."

"Only friend I've ever had."

Jasper was silent for a moment. "Is your name really Tony?"

I tensed for a moment. Technically it was. It had been my original middle name, and my asshole uncle changed it to my first name when I went to live with him and my aunt. Said it was to protect me from the bad men who killed my parents. I later realized it was to erase the connection to my father, who I was named after. His hands stilled, and I willed myself to relax, "Yeah, short for Anthony."

I knew Jasper suspected there was more to this, but he didn't press me further.

He smoothed out a particularly nasty knot, and I groaned out "God, Jazz, so good." Fuck, I was embarrassing.

He made a happy sound and continued to work. He slid off me when he was done and stood uncertainly at the side of the bed. If assertive Jazz was incredibly sexy, uncertain Jazz was fucking adorable.

"Should I sleep in the next room?" he asked and looked at his feet. I realized this was the first time we'd had more than one bed. I gave him a legitimate reason to continue sharing a bed with me, but it was more than that. I wanted him near me, not that I would admit it.

"No, it's better if we're together, in case someone breaks in."

He stripped off his clothes and I shifted onto my side. He crawled in and sighed contentedly as I spooned up against him.

I sleepily said, "Thanks, Jazz."

"Welcome, Tony." I kissed his neck and quickly fell asleep.

****

I woke up cold and hungry. I realized we hadn't eaten last night. Without opening my eyes, I reached out for Jasper. He wasn't there. I opened them and looked around. Frantic, I grabbed my gun, slid out of bed, and stalked quietly out of the room.

This was likely an overreaction, but it only took one careless moment to end up dead.

I relaxed as soon as I smelled food cooking and heard Jazz softly singing. I leaned up against the doorframe of the kitchen.

Jazz hummed, and his hips swayed as he flipped pancakes. He was dressed in a t-shirt and jeans but was bare foot. God, he was fucking beautiful.

He began singing a blues song.

_I'm just a little country boy  
Lookin' for my pride and joy  
I came to the city  
Just to see what I could see_

_I just made it in your town  
Thought I'd take a look around  
I wanna tell you, baby  
Just how good you look to me_

_My mama told me  
There would be some time like this  
She told me  
There would be some moments  
Filled with bliss  
She warned me of a lot of things  
I had to do  
But she didn't tell me  
I would meet somebody like you_

_So, come an' take a chance with me  
I want you to romance with me  
You might say I'm coy  
'Cause I'm just a little country boy_

He dropped back to humming. Fuck me, the kid could have music career with those pipes.

He smoothly pivoted to plop pancakes onto a plate and finally realized I was there. He gave me a huge smile, and I suddenly forgot the big lecture I'd planned to give him about being up without me because anyone with skills like mine would have had the opportunity to kill him ten times over before he realized they were there. Instead my brain stuttered as I soaked in his joy. Christ, how could he affect me so strongly? It was like his emotions eclipsed my own, and I didn't give a fuck that they did.

"Oh, hey there. I was just about to wake you. How are you feelin'?"

"Better, thanks. Where'd you get the food?"

"The freezer and pantry were fully stocked. Come and sit."

He served me pancakes, bacon, and fresh coffee and then sat next to me. I watched him eat and was fascinated by the bit of maple syrup at the corner of his mouth. I wanted to lick it off, push everything on the floor, and fuck him on the table.

I quickly shoved those thoughts aside and focused on eating. I told him how we should pack everyday in case we had to leave in a hurry. I mentioned the need for my being awake with him but left out how many times he could have been dead part. He nodded in agreement, his gaze sliding over the Glock on the table next to my plate.

"This was delicious. Thanks." I said. He smiled as I ran a hand over my bare stomach in satisfaction.

I pushed back in my chair, suddenly very aware that I was only in my underwear, which didn't hide the erection I was sporting at all. I should help him with the dishes, but I needed to get my ass out.

I dragged a hand through my hair, "I should go shower."

"Wait, I'll check your leg."

He reapplied antibiotic ointment and a new dressing. He then wrapped plastic around it and taped it so it would stay dry while I was in the shower. Definitely practical.

I got up and headed out of the kitchen. I paused and half turned. Jasper was humming happily as he cleared the dishes.

"Jazz."

He looked up questioningly, "Yeah, Tony?"

"You can watch my back any day."

I turned back to leave but not before catching another radiant smile.

I stepped into yet another freezing shower, but my dick mocked me as it stood proud. Fucker. I wasn't going to be ruled by my dick. I was above that shit. I sighed as my dick continued to ignore my higher reasoning. I flicked the shower up to hot, and grabbed some liquid soap. I imagined Jasper's hot mouth on my cock as I stroked myself off. It didn't take long before I felt my balls tighten up against me. I groaned out, "Jazz," as I came and rested my forehead against the tile.

While my cock was happy at the moment, the rest of me felt hollow. My hand was a poor substitute for Jasper. Well, it'd have to be good enough. My mood deteriorated by the time I returned to the living room. Jasper had moved the furniture around and was doing yoga. I shook my head and went into the kitchen to report in to Rose.

I looked in to see that he had moved on to very difficult looking moves. One involved doing hand stand push ups with his legs in the air, his feet pressed together. Another involved his hands flat on the ground as the top of his biceps supported his legs folded over them. He stretched and then went into a hand stand. He removed one hand and then shifted a leg out from vertical.

"Fuck me." I exclaimed in amazement and startled him. He nosedived towards the carpet, so I rushed over to steady him, my arms wrapped around his middle.

"Sorry about that. Wouldn't want you to hurt that pretty nose of yours."

I helped him ease down onto the carpet.

"You're really fast." He said, and I shrugged. Quick reflexes were what had kept me alive.

"What about you? Those were some fancy moves." I deflected.

"Helps me relax." Well, I could tell it worked because calm floated off him in waves. He continued, "I also like to meditate."

I snorted, "New age bullshit."

He gave me a look and crossed his legs. "Come on, let's give it a try. I think your chakras are out of alignment."

"My what?"

"Your energy centers." He distracted me by running a finger down my body. "It will probably take a while to get you sorted out, but at least we can start with the basics."

He touched my knees, and I grunted and reluctantly crossed my legs, mirroring him. He scooted on his butt until our knees touched.

"Now close your eyes and breathe."

I closed my eyes, and my mind streamed several thoughts.

"You're thinking too much." I cracked an eye open, and his eyes were still closed. How the fuck did he do that?

He reached out and placed his hand on my chest, "You know how you breathe as you focus on a target to shoot? This is how you should breathe."

I adjusted my focus, and he removed his hand once he was satisfied with my technique.

"Yes, that's it. Now if you have trouble calming your mind, think of a word or phrase. Repeating it over and over will make it difficult to think about something else."

"A mantra?" I asked.

He sounded pleased that I was playing along, "Exactly."

_Jazz. Jazz.__ Jazz. Jazz. Jazz. Jazz. Jazz. Jazz. Jazz. Jazz. Jazz. Jazz. Jazz. Jazz._

Wow, it actually worked.

We meditated for a number of minutes. Jasper whispered, "Tony, how was that?"

I snored. He slapped my knee playfully, "Shithead."

I opened my eyes and grinned, which he returned. We helped each other up.

Later we took an uneventful trip to the store. When we got back, Jasper found a book to read and then fell asleep on the couch. I was restless and wandered the house. I paused to watch him sleep.

I busied myself by making dinner. I crouched down next to the couch and rubbed his arm. "Jazz, it's time for dinner."

He rolled up against me and snuggled his face into my stomach. "Hmm, best dream ever." He muttered.

"Come on. You got plenty of time to dream later."

I gave his hair a playful tug and went back to the kitchen.

He soon appeared, yawning and stretching.

"Thanks, Tony." he said and dug into the fajitas I'd prepared.

After dinner, Jazz put in a really stupid action movie that Emmett would have loved. I was more aware of his closeness on the couch next to me, than the nonexistent plot.

Even though we weren't touching, I felt him all the same. Feeling my self control slipping, I muttered that I needed a smoke and went outside. I reminded myself of all the reasons it would be a bad idea to get involved with him.

I white knuckled through the next three days. I could tell that Jasper was confused by my mood swings. But as much as I tightly controlled my behavior, it went to shit when my unconscious mind decided it was done with my plan. I was having a particularly vivid dream about Jasper and woke up moaning and rubbing myself up against his ass.

I rolled away and swung my legs off the side of the bed. I held my head in my hands, my fingers gripping my hair.

A hand caressed over my shoulder. I took a deep breath, "I'm really sorry, Jasper. I was asleep."

I stood up.

"You don't want me." Jasper's voice trembled slightly.

Fuck. I'd hurt him. Of course, you hurt him, dickhead.

I sat back down, turned towards him. He was sitting up against the headboard. His head was lowered, so I couldn't see his eyes, but I didn't miss the tear that coursed down his cheek.

I felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest.

"I want you more than you know." I said huskily, finding it hard to breathe.

"Then why?"

"I'm a killer."

"You're more than that." He said confidently and reached out to take my hand. I clasped it but shook my head.

"Men like me don't have futures. So we take and then we leave. I could be dead next week, next month."

"I don't expect a relationship, Tony." He said softly.

"You deserve better than this, Jazz." I said hotly.

"I'll have to deal with that." He replied.

Fuck. I couldn't think. All I wanted was to be with him, even for a just a little while. Then I would go on with my fucked up existence. My selfish side begged me to give in.

I said brokenly, "I'm not strong enough to stay away from you."

I slid over to him and took his face in my hands, running my thumbs over his cheeks. I stared into his eyes. What I saw there took my breath away. I leaned over and captured his lips. I moaned as he gave me access to explore with my tongue, which mingled with his. I willed myself to go slow this time. I kissed him breathless before kissing his face, nibbling his ears, and then trailing kisses down his neck. He gasped and dug his fingers in my hair when I lightly bit his neck.

I repositioned us, so that he was laying flat while I hovered over him.

I ran my hands over his smooth chest and followed with my mouth, sucking on his little nipple buds. The sounds he was making was driving me crazy. I caressed his firm, smooth stomach.

I stuck the tip of my tongue into his belly button, and he bucked up, a look of surprise flashed into his lust filled eyes. Yes, baby, I can make you feel so good.

I kissed his stomach and began to run my hands over his thighs. I bypassed his underwear to give him a small nip on his inner thigh right below them. He whimpered with need as I continued down his legs, pausing to press a kiss to each knee as I ghosted my fingers over the sensitive skin behind them. I continued to kiss and nip my way down, and I lifted each leg to kiss his ankles and the top of his feet.

I sat back on my heels and looked up at him. Christ, he was perfection. He reached for me, and I prowled back up, claiming his mouth. I rested on my forearms as I slowly ground up against him as we kissed. I had to stop for a moment, I'd so close to coming.

"Jazz, baby," I murmured.

A few minutes later, my brain reengaged enough to complete the thought, "What do you want?"

"Touch me." he moaned.

"Where?"

He rubbed up against me in answer. "Oh, yes." I moaned in agreement.

I ran my tongue over the head that had escaped and then grabbed his underwear and pulled them down and off. I feasted my eyes on grade A Texas dick.

"Fuck, Jazz."

"Please do."

I grinned. He reached up and fumbled around with a drawer in the headboard, and handed me a condom and the lube. I quickly removed my underwear and he sat up and rolled the condom on. Fuck that was hot. We kissed, hot and sloppy until I pushed him back down and licked the precum leaking from his beautiful, long dick. He moaned as I took him in my mouth. I hummed in appreciation. Lord, he was fine. He gripped the sheets and buck up into my mouth. I slowly backed off, and fisted him. I wanted him to come with me inside him. I lubed up my fingers and quickly prepared him, teasing him with my fingers. I curled one, and found the spot. The moan he made me shiver in anticipation.

I positioned myself, and he wrapped his legs around me. I slid in some and paused. Fuck. So tight. I fought the urge to slam in balls deep. I wouldn't hurt him. Ever.

I continued to ease in as I felt his body accept me. I began small, short jabs. "Jazz, baby, so tight." I groaned out

He began to push back to meet me, and I began thrust long and deep. I shifted his legs over my shoulders so I could go deep, hit at different angles. I rubbed up against his prostate and he all but howled in pleasure. Reaching between us, I fisted his dick and began to stroke him in time with my thrusts. He threw his head back and yelled. Cum sprayed out between us. His channel convulsed around me, and I felt myself go over. "Jazz!" I roared as my cum shot into the condom.

His legs slid down, and I fell onto him. He wrapped his arms around me, cradling me to him . I didn't want to leave. Ever. I kissed him gently before sliding out. I went to the bathroom to throw away the condom and get a towel.

I cleaned us both off, and crawled back under the sheets. Pulling him against me, I stroked his hair. He drifted back to sleep, and I held him close. I'd never felt so protective in all my life. I was scared shitless of the overwhelming feelings I'd never experienced before, but I knew I'd do anything for the man who had somehow become the center of my world.

A/N Happy Thanksgiving!


	6. You're Going Down

I updated my avatar pic of Tony/Edward to an even better (incredible, I know) picture of Rob from the same photo shoot.

Song for this chapter is "You're Going Down" by Sick Puppies. The lyrics (which are explicit) are on my profile page.

JPOV

Instead of waking up nuzzled against Tony's chest, I found my face pressed into the back of his neck…and my dick throbbed in excitement against the small of his back. Mmmm. How I wanted to thrust my cock into him, but after hearing his prison experience, I seriously doubted he ever allowed anyone to claim him in that way.

I moved my hand that rested over his stomach lightly, caressing his rock hard abs, as I imagined taking him in my mouth. I all but drooled at the thought of sucking that long, thick dick. If I'd been with anyone else, I would have considered waking him with the delightful surprise of his dick in my mouth, but I doubted Tony's first reaction would be pleasant. I shivered imagining the violence he might administer before realizing it was just little ol' me. I felt sad that this amazing man had to guard himself so. Even sharing a bed with me seemed like a novel experience for him.

I hoped that he would wake up in a good mood, so I could give him some more happy moments. I didn't think I could take the brooding again after what we'd shared. I brushed my lips over the back of his ear.

I whispered, "Tony."

His body shifted slightly, and he slurred sleepily, "Yeah, baby?"

Holy shit, Jazz and now baby. I tried not to get too excited at the nicknames, but I couldn't help but hope that this meant that he cared at least a little for me.

I breathed by his ear, "I want to suck you off."

"Mmmm. Oh, yeah." I moved so he could roll over on his back.

He pulled me to him for a toe curling kiss. Good lord, he was intoxicating. We broke free when it was clear that oxygen was needed. I leaned down and kissed him again before caressing my way down his torso. I fisted his dick in a couple of swift strokes, and he shifted his legs out wider to give me room. I licked the tip of his dick like an ice cream cone before taking him in, swirling my tongue in between sucks. He moaned and thrust up. I took him down deep.

"Oh shit, baby!" he panted out.

After deep throating for awhile, I eased back some to lick and suck as I fondled his balls. Then I shifted so I could suck on them as I stroked his cock.

He made incoherent sounds as he fisted the sheets. He began to tremble, so I reclaimed his cock in my mouth, sucking him hard. Jesus, I loved sucking him.

"Jazz!" He yelled, and his cum spurted into my mouth. I eagerly swallowed his salty, tangy cum. Damn, he tasted like ambrosia. I was startled by my own orgasm. I moaned around Tony's dick as I came. I licked him gently before pressing my face against his stomach, my chin tickled by the neatly trimmed patch of pubes.

Strong hands gripped me, and he pulled me up his body, my spent cock leaving a slick trail. He devoured my mouth, and then ran kisses over my chin and jaw.

"You came just from giving me head." He said in quiet wonder.

I blushed, feeling like a green teenager.

He cupped my face in his hands, and I reluctantly met his eyes. They glittered intensely, shaking me to the core, "You are amazing." He uttered, in an awed tone as if I was the most precious thing he had ever seen.

I grinned at him and was surprised at the warm smile that was returned. Wow, this man rocked my world.

He cocked one of those sexy eyebrows at me, "Well, how 'bout a shower? I've got Jazz jizz all over me."

I guffawed in surprise as he chuckled.

In the shower, he took time to wash my hair and body. By the time he was done, my dick was painfully hard again. He gripped both of us intimately in one of his hands, and jacked us off together. Fuck, the friction was marvelous.

He teased me in a put out tone, "Well, now I need to clean you again," which he quickly did before washing his own body. I "helped" by kissing him in various locations. I yelped when the blast of cold water hit my backside, signifying that we'd used up all the hot water. Tony chuckled and pulled me out after him.

He became more restless as the day wore on. When I asked him what was troubling him, he told me that we needed to move to a new location soon. It wasn't safe to stay in one location for very long.

I decided to take the worry off his mind. I excused myself from his side and went to the bedroom for a condom and the lube.

He looked up when I returned to the living room. He watched curiously as I silently moved the coffee table away from the couch. Locking eyes with him, I began to strip as slowly and sensually as I could manage. I felt kind of like a dork but the hungry look in his eyes gave me courage.

Once I was completely nekkid, I gently pushed his shoulders, so he leaned back against the couch. His hands ran down my back and took a double handful of my ass. I groaned as he kneaded it with his strong fingers. I kissed him before sliding my hands down and unfastening his pants. He tipped up so I could pull them down.

Placing the stuff on the couch, I straddled his lap and began kissing him again. I felt him move and heard the squirt of lube. His fingers found my puckered hole, and at first he teased the rim before spearing them into me. I moaned as I pushed down on his fingers, wanting more. Those long fingers felt like they were made to fuck my ass.

He shifted again, removed the condom from its wrapper and handed it to me. I leaned back and placed it on him.

He murmured heatedly, "God, I love watching you do that."

I slowly impaled myself on him. Sweet Jesus. The twinge of pain, the pressure, and then the sweet bliss of him filling me. Erasing the void I hadn't realized I had in my heart until I'd found him.

He gripped my hips and trembled as I sank down to his root.

"So tight, so hot." He grunted, a little vein standing out in his forehead. God, that was so sexy.

I began a rhythm that he quickly took over. We blended together in perfect harmony. I cried out as he rubbed against my prostate. I reached for my dick, but he knocked my hand away so he could stroke me instead. We came together, and I gave a sob of complete euphoria as he yelled out. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed me up against him as much as the position would allow. I was surrounded by him, safe and complete. I'd never had a lover hold me in such a way while still inside me. The intimacy made my heart feel too big for my chest. What would I do when he disappeared from my life? I quickly stopped thinking along that path. No, I'd deal with that when the time came.

E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J

EPOV

I called Rose the next morning and was relieved to receive directions to our new location. We had been here too long.

I ended the call, and a chill ran up my spine. Danger, my instincts screamed at me. I grabbed the Glock and left the bedroom.

"Jasper" I called out, even though it went against my training. Fear for him coursed through me.

"In the living room. Come give your little ol' hush puppy some lovin.'" His accent was as thick as Texas mud.

Hush puppy. He was trying to warn me. I took the Glock off safety and padded silently to the living room.

What I found chilled me to the bones. Jasper was being held with a knife to his throat by none other than James Sullivan, my uncle's right hand man.

I carefully kept my features blank as I entered the room slowly, my gun trained. Unfortunately, James was effectively blocking himself with Jazz's height.

Keeping my tone light, I said, "Jamie, I'm surprised you stopped by for a visit."

James gave a small smile at my familiar use of his nickname. His blue eyes glittered dangerously, reminding me of a snake.

He said in a soft, pleasant tone, "The FBI isn't as secure as it thinks. It was very easy to learn where you were."

Fuck, now we couldn't rely on safe houses.

"So what to do you want? Here to deliver news from home?"

"You know why I'm here, Tony. I thought about making this fine young man suck my cock while you watched I before killed him, but I figured you may have told him about your little stunt in prison. So I think that the last thing you'll see in this life will be me fucking his tight little ass while he screams."

Jasper gulped and stared at me with wide eyes. As much as I wanted to send him a reassuring look I couldn't.

I said, my tone still light, "Jamie, let him go. Your fight's with me."

"Give me one reason why I should let him live."

I gave him a cocky smirk, "I'll give you twenty million reasons."

He tilted his head to the side, his long, dirty blond hair sliding over his shoulder. "Tell me more."

"His daddy promised to pay me twenty million dollars upon safe return of his precious son," I replied with a greedy leer.

Jasper blinked at my revelation. His features became pinched not only with fear but deep hurt. I was lying, of course, but the lure of money was the only thing that would prevent James from expertly torturing Jasper to death.

James stared at me, trying to gage if I was lying. I was confident that he wouldn't find any tells; I was a master at lying.

"Why don't you drop the gun, and we'll discuss this?"

Knowing what to expect, I put the safety back on and tossed the gun off to the side. James shoved Jasper away from him. Jazz stumbled and crawled away from James. James ignored him as he watched me closely.

"Well, well, well. This is even better than I thought. I kill you. Carlisle will be happy. I turn in the kid, and get rich. James wins all around."

The fucker would talk about himself in third person.

"But to give you a sporting chance, I'll put my knife down." He said, setting it on the coffee table, his eyes never leaving me.

James was confident that he would win with good reason. He was a killing machine, skilled in mixed martial art techniques. What he didn't know was that I had gone through intensive training provided by the FBI's highly talented instructors. He also threatened someone I truly cared about. I would do everything in my power to destroy this asshole.

He advanced with some basic kicks and punches. I let him connect a few times to make him overconfident. He grinned wickedly, looking like a cat playing with its prey, as I grunted in pain. He came at me with a fast, stylized kick to the head. Pretty and dramatic, but he left his groin wide open. I answered with a kick of my own. And he screamed out in pain.

We continued exchange blows, and I began to show advantage over him. His rage was making him sloppy. I punched him in the face and then tackled him to the floor. I grunted in satisfaction as his head slammed down. We landed next to the coffee table. We rolled into it, jarring it enough to make the knife slide off. We both struggled for it, punching with the hand that wasn't reaching. James reached it first and straddled me with the knife hovering near my throat. I used one hand to grip his wrist and the other tangled in his hair. I yanked hard, and he yelled out. Yes, I fucking pulled his hair. We rolled and continued to struggle. The fight ended as James grunted in surprise, blood pooled in his chest, the knife piercing his heart. His eyes glazed over as I pushed him off me and came up in a defensive crouch. I looked around the room. No Jasper and no gun. However, there was a black man with dreadlocks pointing a gun at me. Fuck my life.

He grinned at me serenely. "It appears that Carlisle was wise after all to send me with James. You were not such an easy opponent to fight. But now it is time for you to d…"

Whatever else he said was drowned out by the roar of a gunshot, and he staggered forward and then fell.

Behind him with gun locked in proper shooter's stance was Jasper.

I scrambled up in joy. He was alive.

He lowed the gun, looking at the man and then at me in shock. Yes, killing someone, even if it was to protect yourself was difficult. But we didn't have time to deal with this; we needed to get out now.

He handed over the gun, and I pulled him into the garage from the connecting door in the kitchen. We sped off without issue.

E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J

The car rolled forward, lights off, stealthily pursuing the Subaru at a distance. She was an expert at evading notice. She would follow them until the time was right to strike. They would pay for her James' death.

E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J

Jasper was quiet as I thought about what we should do now. We needed another car and hole up somewhere other than an FBI safe house. I couldn't even trust calling Rose, not knowing the level of the security breach.

Jasper finally spoke. "I was going to leave. I took the gun, and I was going to run."

I nodded, "You needed to keep yourself safe."

"But when I spotted that other man entering the house, I knew you needed me."

"Thank you." It was true; I would have been dead without him.

His voice hardened, "I don't want your gratitude, Tony. Now we're even."

Ah, this was about the lie. "Jazz, I was lying. There is no money. It was the only way to keep you alive if he killed me."

He gave a disbelieving grunt, not meeting my eyes.

Part of me wanted to argue with him, to convince him that I would do anything to keep him safe, but then I realized that maybe it was better this way. Let him think that I'm a piece of shit, so saying goodbye wouldn't hurt so much…for him.

"We need to find a place to stay and then find a way to contact the FBI." I bit out.

"Do you still have a phone?" he asked. I pulled one of those pay-as-you-go phones out from under my seat and handed it to him.

He quickly punched in a number.

"Brandon, it's me. Yes, I'm okay. Listen, is your Uncle Aro still in Europe?"

Fuck, of course he'd reach out to that Brandon guy.

Pause

"Good, thanks. Listen, I've got one more favor to ask. I need you to contact someone at the FBI."

He turned to look at me "Assistant Director Rosalie Hale." I said.

He repeated, "Assistant Director Rosalie Hale" into the phone and continued, "You need to hack in and find a way to reach her outside of normal channels. Yes, I know I can do that too, but it's hard to be a computer stud without a computer." He gave a small chuckle.

Jealousy flared. Fuck, this was hard.

Jazz ended the call. "We can stay at a place in Lincoln. No one's home until next week."

I followed his directions to a fucking mansion. Who the fuck lived in mansions in Nebraska? Apparently Brandon's Great Uncle Aro.

Jasper punched in the security code, and we entered the grounds. I prowled around to prove it was secure.

The silence between us was tense. Jasper claimed a room, and I prowled around until late. Knowing that I had no business sharing a bed with him anymore, I placed a chair out in the hall next to the closed door and fell into a fitful sleep.


	7. I'm Not Okay

A/N Sorry for the delay in posting. Preparations for and celebrating the holidays and then being under the weather kept me from writing.

Song for this chapter is "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" by My Chemical Romance. Figured it was angsty without going overboard. Not all the lyrics apply. Link to lyrics on my profile page.

JPOV

I shut the door. I shut Tony out. I flung myself face down on the bed. My head spun, swimming with discordant images. Tears ran down my face. I shuddered remembering being roughly grabbed from behind with the knife at my throat and the whispered threats of what would happen when Tony died. I had no doubt that he would have tortured and killed me as promised. Then Tony was there. The relief I'd felt was so strong. I knew that Tony would make things right.

Then things stopped making sense. Tony knew the man, called him Jamie. He didn't even blink when Jamie threatened to do horrible things to me. Instead he leered and spoke of money, lots of money that my daddy had promised to pay. My heart constricted again in pain. I was nothing more than a meal ticket.

My mind fast forwarded to standing behind the black man with the soft French accent and taking aim. No matter what my feelings were for Tony, I owed him for all the times he'd saved my life.

I squeezed my eyes closed tight against the rise of nausea that overwhelmed me as I remembered the smell of gun powder and blood and the heavy sound of the body as it hit the floor. I had killed. I had to defend us, but I had taken a life. Jesus, is this what Tony carried with him every day? Fuck him, I shouldn't care. But I did. I hurt because I thought he'd liked me for me, not for my daddy's money. I'd thought wrong. I continued to run what happened over and over again. My mind landed on something he'd said in the car. That he'd lied to protect me.

My head hurt, and I was exhausted. I dropped into a restless sleep, still wearing my clothes.

I woke up reaching for him, only to find a cold bed. I had become used to his warmth, his security. Now all I had was an aching emptiness. Fuck. I dug the heels of my hands over my eyes, which burned.

I showered and changed into a t-shirt and loose fitting shorts. Some exercise outside would help me think. I tucked the phone in my pocket, in case Brandon called.

I found a straight backed chair in the hall outside my room that hadn't been there when I'd closed myself in for the night. The grounds and the house were both secure with alarms, with different pass codes, no less. Yet, I knew that he'd slept outside my room. Was the money that important to him? Fuck, I was confused. I wanted to believe him, but I'd been with other guys more interested in the Whitlock fortune than me as a person. What was I going to do? It wasn't like I could call Daddy and ask him about it.

I followed my nose to the kitchen.

"I'm going outside." I muttered.

"Wait." He said, without turning. "I made enough for you too."

He served what normally would have been mouthwatering waffles. I politely, yet stiffly thanked him. The waffles tasted like sawdust, but I doggedly chewed. I would not disgrace my mama's memory by being ill-mannered. I impassively noticed that Tony pushed his food around his plate. I looked at his haggard face and the dark circles under his eyes. I pushed down the concern over the large bruise gracing his jaw and the shallow cut on his chin.

The silence between us was tense and uncomfortable. I rolled my shoulders before I stood up and washed my plate.

Without waiting for him, I exited the rear of the house to the grounds. There was a nice spot for Tai chi within sight of the house. I took off my shirt and began to run through the familiar exercises letting my mind flow without structure. I replayed what had happened the night before but from the perspective that Tony had been lying. The man had let me go when Tony had told him about the money. Tony was skilled in many areas, was lying another cunning accomplishment? What should I believe?

I dropped down to the ground, wrapping my arms around my knees, and sighed in frustration. I ran through what truths I knew. He was a killer. He was a protector. He was a lover. I mentally paused. Yes, he could be a gentle lover. Not just a man who takes as had he once said. He was a generous, considerate lover. A bead of sweat trailed down my spine, and I remembered his reaction to my back – the look on his face when he'd thought someone had hurt me. Money didn't buy that kind of emotion. He cared about me. It was then that I knew that he was telling the truth.

The phone rang. "Hey, Brandon," I answered.

E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J

EPOV

I sat in a shady area by the pool, watching Jasper. The grace at which he moved was mesmerizing. Yet, I had seen his red, haunted eyes. I'd wanted to take him in my arms and hold him. Take all his pain away. But I couldn't because I was the cause. I would do it again in a heartbeat, though. It had kept him alive.

I heard a ring tone, and Jasper answered the phone, "Hey, Brandon."

He spoke too low for me to hear for awhile but then he stood up and paced around a bit. "Cute? No he's not cute. He's fucking gorgeous." He said in a gravely voice.

Was he talking about me?

He gave a short laugh, "No, Brandon, I don't think he'd be interested in checking out your equipment."

I sneered to myself with a disgusting amount of satisfaction that Brandon might not measure up to Jazz's idea of my standards. Hmm, pinkie dick, perhaps?

"No, not even if you gave him your trust fund. Yeah, I know how big it is."

Not wanting to hear any more of my supposed mercenary ways, I stripped off my shirt and dove into the pool. I did a number of laps before lifting myself up and out of the pool. Jasper sat in the chair I had vacated earlier.

He stood and handed me a towel.

I grunted in acknowledgement and ran the towel over my face, wincing as I bumped the bruise and then moved on to my hair.

"Brandon called." Jasper said softly. I tried to ignore my body's reaction to his nearness, to his smoky voice. God, it was so hard to keep my control around him.

"Oh?" I replied.

"Yeah, said that the FBI is getting close to finding the security leak. Ms. Hale will be in contact soon."

"Good." I haphazardly swiped at myself with the towel and turned back for the house.

"Tony, wait." Jasper said and grasped my wrist. I half turned and met his eyes, and then pointedly looked down at his hand. He removed it quickly and said, "I'm sorry, Tony. I should have listened to you. I understand why you lied to that horrible man. I'm sorry I doubted you."

I swallowed with difficulty. "It doesn't matter."

He looked at me incredulously, "Of course it matters."

I shook my head emphatically, "This will be over soon. You'll go back to your life and realize that I was nothing more than a diversion."

"What, the little rich boy playing on the wrong side of the tracks? Fuck you, Tony. You know it's more than that."

He got up in my face, a mix of anger and hurt shining in his eyes. I started to panic. I needed to get away before he destroyed the wall I'd put up. "A few good fucks, Jasper. That's all it was."

I walked back to the house, leaving him by the pool.

J&E&J&E&J&E&J&J&E

JPOV

Fuck. I couldn't believe him. Did he really think I just fucked around for jollies? But then, what was he used to? Use and be used. I was pissed and frustrated. How could I get through to him? I felt deep down that we could be amazing together. I wasn't about to give up on that. Nothing worth anything was easy but damn his stubborn hide. Because for all his "a few good fucks" comment, I knew he was hiding from me.

I returned to the house and found the gym that Brandon had described. I began hitting a punching bag.

I was lost in thought when Tony said, "Not bad." I jumped slightly and turned, seeing him leaning against the door frame.

He strode forward, "I could show you a few things."

I flushed with awareness of his powerful, lean body. I stepped aside and watched him punch the bag. Fuck, he was amazing. He gave me pointers and watched me try again. He ran his hands over my torso and corrected my posture, and then reached down to shift my legs in a wider stance.

"Again." He commanded.

I continued, and he grunted in satisfaction.

"Now kick the bag."

Once I'd done so, he said, "Okay, that needs work."

He taught me some basic kicks, and after I got them down, he showed me some blocking techniques.

I went at him with a kick and found myself flat on my back on the mat with him hovering over me. "Make sure to keep your balance, or I'll take it from you."

Too late for that. My balance was allows off when he was around.

I let out a slow breath. His eyes gleamed as he felt me harden against his thigh.

"Shit, Jazz, you're like a fucking addiction." He groaned and lowered his head to capture my lips in a rough, devouring kiss, which I hungrily returned.

I vaguely became aware of a ringing sound. Phone. Shit, the cell phone. Tony pulled back, and I got up and answered.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Whitlock, this is Rosalie Hale. I've very glad to hear your voice. You're okay?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Good. Please let me speak with, Tony." From the undercurrents of her voice, I knew something was wrong.

I handed the phone to him, "Ms. Hale for you."

Tony took the phone and wandered out of the gym.

I followed him out but went upstairs for another shower, to give him some privacy.

I later found him on the family room, looking blankly out the large bay window.

"Tony?" I called to him softly, startled by the devastated look on this face.

He turned toward me, and I swore I saw tears shimmer in his eyes before he turned back to the window.

I came up behind him, and pressed up against him, resting my head against his shoulder, my arms wrapped loosely around his waist. "What happened, darlin'?"

He tensed briefly but then relaxed back against me. "They found the leak. Took awhile because she was on vacation." His voice was tight, and he paused to take a gulp of air.

"Who, Tony?" I whispered.

"Special Agent Angela Weber. Angie was Rosalie's assistant, training to become a handler. She was found dead in her apartment, tied to her bed, violated, and sliced up with a knife. Her roommate is missing, but her blood was found in the apartment."

"Jesus. I'm so sorry." I murmured.

"It was him. James. He did this. He would have done the same to you." His voice hitched, and a tremble ran through his frame.

"Hush now. You kept me safe. James is dead, and I'm fine, all because of you."

I placed a chaste kiss on his neck. He sighed. "I'm to turn you over to the FBI tomorrow."

My heart lurched. "What about you?" I asked, my voice sounding like broken glass.

"I need to finish what I started," he said woodenly.

"I don't understand."

"I shouldn't tell you. Could put you in danger."

I gave a mirthless chuckle, "I'm already in danger."

"Knowledge is dangerous. Look where it got Angie."

"I'm willing to take that risk."

He pulled away only to take my hand and lead me to the coach. I was surprised when he pulled me up against him. I snuggled into his side, waiting for him to speak. I wasn't expecting what he said next.

"You know how I said my parents died when I was five? Well, they were murdered."

I gasped in surprise.

He continued, "My mom's sister and her husband took me in. Gave me a new name and a place to live. My aunt was very kind and tried her best to make things normal for me. But nothing was normal after I moved into that house. All I have left of my dad is this." He touched his medallion. "My uncle made sure of that. My aunt endured a beating for giving me this."

"There were always scary men around. They called my uncle "Doctor." I remember how they laughed when I asked where was my uncle's medical bag. See, he was known as "Doctor" because he liked to slice people up like James."

Jesus, he was raised by a monster.

"I thought about running away all the time. I even did it once when I was 17. But he found me, told me he'd kill Aunt Esme if I didn't come home. When I did go home, he beat the shit out of me and locked me in my room for a month. After that, I did what I was told. Started running packages for him until I got busted for weapon possession. That's when I went to prison."

"You were attacked…"

"Yes. I woke up in the hospital, and there was this blonde with huge tits sitting by my bed."

I tsked, feeling a surge of jealousy.

He laughed softly and squeezed me reassuringly, "I'm gay but not blind, Jazz. The woman could put someone's eye out with those things. Turned out to be Rose, who was then an FBI handler. She wanted me to come work for her, to gain evidence to put my uncle and others away. I didn't want to listen to her. I just wanted to be left alone. She showed me a picture of the man suspected of killing my parents, and then she showed me pictures of that man meeting with my uncle." He paused. "The FBI was pretty sure that my uncle was responsible for the order for my parents' death."

"Why?" I whispered.

"My dad had evidence against him, so he was taken out."

"But your mama too?"

"Took me awhile to figure that one out. My aunt couldn't have kids. My uncle found a solution to that too."

"Fuck."

"Yeah, so I agreed to work with her. I healed and then supposedly was entered a special work program as a condition of my remaining prison time. I was actually being trained by the FBI. After my time was done, I returned home. My uncle had been impressed by my surviving the prison attack and allowed me back as a junior enforcer."

"Why were you working with Maria?"

"To get information on MS7 and her brother. He was the man who killed my parents."

An awful feeling overcame me. "Do you have enough information on the brother to put him away?"

"No."

"Because of me."

"I don't think of it that way. If you want to blame anyone, blame Maria."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Go back to Chicago to testify."

We just sat there in silence for a long time, holding each other. After awhile Tony brushed his lips over my hair. "Jazz," he said hesitantly.

"Yes?" I asked softly.

"I want."

"Yes, darlin', tell me what you want."

"I want…I want you."

"You have me." I hummed softly as I leaned up and kissed him. It was slow and tender. Breathtaking.

He moaned. "Jazz, fuck me."

I leaned back, stunned to my core. "Have you ever…?"

He shook his head slightly, looking more vulnerable than I'd ever seen him.

I stood up and held out my hand, "Let's go to bed, lover."


	8. In the Darkness

The song for this chapter is "In the Darkness" by Dead by Sunrise. The link to the lyrics is in my profile. This is one of my new favorite songs. This is the guys' "last hurrah on the run" chapter.

EPOV

It took awhile to reach the room Jasper had slept in the previous night as we stopped several times along the way to kiss and touch. I was ready to drop to the floor by the time we reached the long hall, but Jasper had other ideas.

"No, darlin', I'm gonna love you right." He husked as I moaned in frustration.

He chuckled and dragged me down the hall and into the room. Once inside, I was able to calm down enough to let him take over with soft kisses. He paused to pull my shirt over my head.

"Shit, you're one tough bastard." He murmured as he lightly ran his hand over my bruised ribs.

"Doesn't hurt," I said my voice gravel.

"Are you hurtin' anywhere else?"

I nodded my head solemnly.

He released an audible breath and whispered, "Where, darlin'? Where do you hurt?"

I gasped his hand and ran it over my throbbing erection. The look of concern that had graced his face slid into a look of warm satisfaction.

"Well, now, I'll just have to take care of you," he said in that sexy drawl of his.

Hell, yes.

We striped the rest of the way down, and I stretched out on the bed as he got the stuff. I was surprised how easy it was to place control in Jasper's hands. But then I'd never trusted anyone like I trusted him. I would give him the world if I could.

After another round of kissing, he began touching me. His beautiful brown eyes met mine as he caressed down my arms, my chest, my stomach, and circled my thighs.

"Beautiful," he murmured, and I felt fucking 10 feet tall as his eyes devoured my body.

He tucked a pillow under me to lift me up. He murmured soothingly and continued to rub circles on my thighs when I tensed uneasily at being exposed. I felt as if he could see to the very center of my soul – and understood. As I relaxed, he took me in his mouth.

I groaned out, lost in the heaven that was his mouth. I barely noticed the finger that gently moved across and around the outside of my hole. Not breaching – just there.

He pulled back briefly, and I heard the click of the lube bottle cap. Again, I tensed involuntarily, waiting for the cold intrusion of lubed fingers. Jazz returned to sucking and licking me, and I soon forgot what I was tense about. A warm, slick finger tip returned to caressing the puckered skin of my hole, and I gasped in surprise at how good the duel sensations of him sucking my cock and touching me there felt.

After touching me for awhile, he pushed just his finger tip in. I moaned and shoved impatiently for more. Jesus, I thought I was going to die; he made me feel so good. He chuckled around my dick. And I groaned loudly at sensation the vibration caused.

He worked one finger in slowly, taking time to stretch me. I bucked, wanting more.

I reached for his hair, tugging at it. "Jazz, fuck me already," I demanded.

He released my dick with a "pop." He gave a small laugh, "Pushy bottom."

He fondled my balls with his other hand and added one more finger, and when he felt I was ready, added a third. I was mewing with pleasure by the time he paused to put on the condom.

He leaned up to kiss me before he slowly entered me. He stopped after the head made it through. It stung a little, but he'd been very careful in preparing me. I sighed as I pushed down and took more of him in.

He pushed in slowly, filling me. Sex had always been just sex before Jasper. But being with him was a connection – a fulfillment. Scary as fuck, but so wonderful. As he pumped into me, I felt so much love for him. Yes, damn it; I loved him so fucking much it took my breath away.

Our eyes met as he changed angles and brushed my prostate. I shouted out in pleasure, my eyes threatening to roll back into my head as he grazed it again. I felt myself start to tighten up, and he grasped my dick and began stroking me off as he continued to thrust.

We came almost at the same time. I felt completely blissed out when Jazz left to get a washcloth for my cum-smeared body. Fuck, I'd shot so hard, I had cum on my throat.

He washed me up and then pulled me into his arms. I vaguely noticed that he was still in the top mindset and that suited me just fine. To be able to place myself in another's hands for a little while… it was a peace I'd never felt before. Loved. I felt loved.

I drifted to sleep, held securely in his arms.

E&J&EJ&E&J&E&J

JPOV

I held Tony, reveling in the intense feelings I had for him. Feeling the high of knowing the trust he had given me. It felt so good giving him what he wanted…what he needed and then holding him tight, keeping him safe and secure in my arms. Jesus, I loved this man so much, my heart hurt.

When I felt his breathing even out into sleep, I softly whispered in his hair, "Love you, darlin'."

I must have fallen asleep too, because I woke up to a growling stomach. Mine. Tony laughed. "Wow, that's some beast you got there."

He kissed me and got up. "Let's get something to eat."

He grimaced slightly, and I gave a small smile. "You okay?" I asked.

He gave me mock glare, "Yeah, just had a big dick up my ass."

He then laughed and playfully yanked my hair.

* * *

We sat outside as the sun set. I ran my fingers over his tattoo.

He grunted, "Got it mainly for street cred. My street name is "Irish" in Chicago because I'm one of the few young people in my Uncle's organization who bothered learning Gaelic."

"You know Gaelic? Say something to me."

"**Is tú mo ghrá**."

"And what does it mean?"

His eyes twinkled, and he gave me that crooked grin of his. "You have a great ass."

But I had a feeling it meant something else. I committed the unfamiliar sounds to memory, determined to find out what he'd really said.

"So do you have a nickname among the Latino gang members?" I asked.

"Puma."

"Mountain Lion, yeah, I get that. You know you sound like a cat when you're having sex." I teased and pushed his arm.

He sputtered out a laugh, "Oh, yeah. Well you sounded like a demented cowboy earlier. It's a good thing I could see who was screwing me, cuz you sounded like that Howard Dean dude."

Now it was my turn to sputter, "Demented cowboy?!" I grabbed him, and we ended up pushing each other into the pool, laughing.

* * *

While Tony was in the bathroom later that night, I striped and sat on the bed waiting for him. When he entered the room, I swiftly positioned myself on my hands and knees, and gave him a provocative look over my shoulder.

"Jesus, Jazz."

He came up onto the bed and kissed my back. I shivered at his touch. He growled and pulled my legs out a bit more so he could reach down and fondle my balls. He reached around and placed his finger against my mouth. Knowing what he wanted, I sucked on it like it was his dick. We both groaned out.

He removed his finger and moving it around my hole. The contented feeling I was experiencing spiked when his fingers began alternating with his tongue. Shit. He had me so worked up, I was going to come without him touching my dick.

"Tony," I gasped out desperately.

He pulled on a condom and slid into me balls deep. I moaned out. So good. He pulled almost all the back out before slamming into me.

"Yes!" I yelled.

He grunted and continued to slam to me. I saw stars as he changed angles. When I was getting close, he shifted our positions so that he could pull me up against his chest. With his arms anchoring me against him, he continued to thrust into me, each stroke hitting my prostate. He breathed in my ear, "Come with me."

White fire seared down my spine, and I yelled out as I came. His arms tightened around me, as he roared out his release.

After cleaning up, I snuggled up against Tony, trying not to think about tomorrow.

A/N

The Gaelic **Is tú mo ghrá ****means "I love you" according to websites I visited. I'm not an expert, and I'm sure there are many other ways to say it, as per the examples I saw. **

**Howard Dean is an American politician who let off this weird (and hilarious) battle cry during a speech. It's on YouTube if you want to hear it. **


	9. Savin' Me

Sorry for the delay in updating. My family and I had a run of bad head colds. I think about this story every day and am very happy to be well enough to post again.

Marie-Ruth was kind enough to mention that a better translation for Is tú mo ghrá is"I'm in love with you" rather than "I love you."

The song for this chapter is "Savin' Me" by Nickelback. Link to the lyrics is on the profile page.

EPOV

I woke up at dawn, spooned up against Jasper. I ignored my morning wood as I ran my hand lightly up and down his arm, feeling the soft, smooth skin and the wiry muscles beneath. I felt like a chicken shit for telling him that I was in love with him in a language he didn't understand. I silently swore in frustration. I wanted to tell him, but that wouldn't be fair to him. I had to leave and finish what I'd started. Leaving him would be the hardest thing I'd ever done in my life. I allowed myself a few more minutes of holding him before slipping out of bed.

My eyes burned as I packed my few belongings. The finality of act was like a punch in the gut. As I turned, Jasper slid up against me, hunching down a bit to press his face into the side of my neck as his arms slipped around my waist. I slid an arm around him and reached up with the other to bury a hand into the curls at the nape of his neck. I bit my cheek, trying to hold back tears. Hearing his little sniffle was my undoing. I tasted blood in my mouth as a tear ran down my cheek.

I husked softly, "Shh, it's going to be okay." Not really sure who I was trying to convince more – me or him.

He didn't say anything, so I pressed a few kisses against the side of his head, burying my nose into his soft hair, breathing in his scent for one last time.

"Will I even see you again?" He whispered.

"Christ, I hope so." I said emphatically and then paused, "It may not be for a long time, though."

I felt his nod of understanding. "Jasper," I rasped and tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "I need you to promise me something."

"Anything." He said firmly with no hesitation.

"Promise me to stay safe. Do what the FBI tells you to do, even if it pisses you off. I know how independent you are, but it's important."

"Okay, Tony."

I pressed one last kiss into his curls and unable to help myself, muttered fervently, "Mo Thaisce." _My treasure._

Jasper gave a small chuckle, "You're saying something about my hair, aren't you? I know you've got a thing for it."

I gave a surprised little laugh as his flirty drawl yanked me out of my dark thoughts and pulled his head up for a lingering kiss. I reluctantly pulled away and ran my cheek against his. "We need to leave soon."

The exchange was to take place at the Lincoln Children's Zoo. At this hour, there would be very few people around and was not an expected meeting place, such as a café or hotel.

We pulled into the parking lot, and I spotted the agents standing by the map stand. I squeezed Jazz's hand briefly and said, "This is it."

We walked over to the agents and exchanged greetings as if old friends, but our eyes scanned the few people around carefully. Jasper began to leave with the agents as I pretended to fish out my wallet to buy a ticket. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the glimpse of movement. Instantly my mind registered the gun raising, pointing at Jasper.

"Gun!" I shouted, tackling Jasper from behind as a shot rang out. I grunted as I felt the impact of the bullet and prayed that my body was enough to stop it from reaching Jasper.

I heard screams and shots as I continued to lay on the ground, covering Jasper the best I could.

E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J

JPOV

Suddenly I was being thrown to the ground. Gun fire. I registered the feel of the body covering most of mine. Tony. Screams and more shots were fired. Then it stopped. I turned so I could slide out a bit from Tony, and grabbed at him. He flinched, and I raised my hand up to see it covered in blood.

"Fuck, Tony! You're hit!"

He looked at me with pain filled eyes, but his mouth turned up in a small half grin. "Better me than you."

My hand trembled as I reached out and brushed his cheek, the bloody streak left from my hand looked hideously vivid against the pallor of his skin.

His eyes went glassy, and he started to close his eyes. I yelled, "Call 911, he's been shot! Tony, stay with me! Don't leave me!" I whimpered in panic.

He reached up with a shaky hand and pulled at his shirt. Jerking at the chain around his neck, it broke, and he pushed it up against me. I covered his hand with mine.

"Want you to have it." He murmured before losing consciousness.

"Tony, no Tony!" I cried as the agents pulled away from him.

E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J

EPOV

I woke up feeling groggy and like I'd been hit by a truck. Just I began to process what had happened, and that I was in a hospital, Rosalie appeared at my side.

"Oh, thank God, you're awake." She said, her appearance was rumpled and there were shadows under her eyes.

I tried to speak but no sound came out. I swallowed and tried again. "Jasper?"

She waved her hand dismissively and said, "He's fine. And you, you are one lucky son of bitch. Your kidney was damaged beyond repair, but they were able to locate a donor. You're going to be okay."

Yeah, just on anti-rejection medication for the rest of my life. But it had been worth it.

"The shooter?" I vaguely remembered a woman with long, red hair.

"Dead. Bitch was Angie's roommate. Her real name was Victoria Cameron, was wanted in Ireland until she disappeared, presumed dead. She started a new life here in the States. She and James were connected."

"Fuck," I breathed. "What happens next?"

"You go back to Chicago after you've been released. Emmett will go back with you."

"Shit, you must really hate me if you're sending the shot up agent to protect me." I teased.

"He's the best there is, shot up or not. Plus he's going insane on leave."

"Fine, I've missed the big lug anyway."

"Good. You remember Sam Uley?"

Big, Native American from the same tribe as that asshole Black, but Sam I liked.

"Yeah. Good man."

"He'll be in Chicago with you too." She paused to give me a kiss on my cheek, a move that surprised me – she must have really worried about me, "You get some rest so you can get out of here."

The next time I woke up, I saw a tiny, dark haired girl sitting in the chair at my side. I reflexively reached for a weapon which wasn't there, of course, wincing as I pulled the IV line. She didn't look dangerous, but in my world, looks were deceiving.

She turned sightless eyes to me and gave me a bright smile. "You're awake. Good!" Her accent was deep, Deep South.

"Who are you?" I warily asked.

"Brandon."

I struggled to think. Brandon? Jasper's Brandon?

"You don't look like a Brandon." I returned suspiciously.

She held out her hand, which I took after hesitating. "Mary Alice Brandon, at your service. Most people call me Alice, but since you're a friend of Jasper's, you can call me Brandon."

The room spun a little as I processed that the person I'd been jealous over was a woman.

It felt so stupid now, since Jazz had told me he'd never been attracted to girls.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"I thought I'd stop by and say 'howdy' since Jasper couldn't be here." She replied and gave me a sympathic smile.

Yeah, security reasons and all.

She entertained me with stories of her and Jasper's college antics. A nurse poked her head through the door and told us that visiting hours were over. Brandon stood up and pressed a hand on my shoulder.

"You're a good friend, Brandon." I said, meaning it.

"Thank you. I can tell you are too. I know things look impossible right now, but they will work out. You guys were meant to be together." She said confidently before she left.

I closed my eyes and whispered to myself. "I hope you're right."

E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J

Emmett's POV

Just a few more days, and Tony was going to be released. I whistled softly as I walked briskly down the hall to his room. I'd always liked Tony, and now that I knew he wasn't an Irish hood, I could be his friend without feeling guilty. I gave a little sigh. Fuck, I was tired of the cloak and dagger shit. One day, I was quitting the game.

I pushed open the door and snickered at the sight of Tony up on his knees, facing away from the door, the back of his hospital gown gaped open.

"Didn't know there was going to be a full moon tonight, Cullen." I smirked.

He didn't answer, and I frowned, puzzled by what he was doing with the machines. Then I saw his IV lying unattached on the floor and realized he was systematically disconnecting them. They started beeping loudly, as I rounded the bed. "Hey, stop that, Tony!" I yelled over the beeps and gripped his shoulder. He looked up at me with feverish eyes; his face was sweaty and pale.

"Jasper," he breathed out. "Have to get Jasper. James. Victoria. Must save."

Nurses poured into the room as I realized what he'd meant. He thought that Jasper was in danger.

Nurses began to restrain him. He began screaming Jasper's name and thrashing. I did what I could to help and got punched in the head for my troubles.

He fought against the restraints as they shot him up with a sedative. He continued to scream for Jasper until the medicine kicked in. The doc appeared and there was lots of medical talk about infection and antibiotics. They reconnected Tony's IV and gave him new meds.

The screams continued to echo in my head as I shivered. Jesus, he must really love the kid to go ape shit like that.

I stood out in the hall and called Rose.

I told her the fever, what had happened, and that I knew Jasper was still in town.

"Rose, please, you gotta let him see him."

"Em, you know the rules. It's the best for both of them. The safest."

"Stop thinking like the Assistant Director for a minute, Rose. If it was me in that bed, what would you do?"

"He really loves him, doesn't he?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let me make some calls."

"Thanks, babe."

She replied in a prickly tone, "That's Assistant Director Babe, to you, mister."

I smiled. God, I loved that woman.

E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J

JPOV

My escort waited out in the hall as I entered Tony's hospital room. Bruno…Emmett stood up and walked quickly over.

"I'm so glad you're here." He slapped my shoulder, and I gritted my teeth as the slap jarred me. "Shit, I'm sorry, dude! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just still a little sore."

He nodded apologetically, "He's starting to come around. He'll be restrained until we know how he'll be coming off the sedative."

I grimaced. I knew they were for his safety and others,' but I hated to see his bound wrists. As I watched he began to tug at his wrists, and he emitted a keening noise. The hairs on my arms stood up at the pure desolation of the sound.

"Jasper," He moaned as the machines started to beep louder.

A nurse appeared and spoke with Emmett briefly before they both left the room

I pulled the chair closer to the bed before sitting. "I'm here, Tony."

He stopped his weak struggling and slowly opened his eyes, looking at me blurrily.

"Jazz?" He asked, his voice raw with hope. The machines dropped back to a steadier beep.

"Yes, darlin', it's me. You have a fever from an infection you've developed. James and Victoria are dead. I'm safe."

He closed his eyes and tears trailed down his cheeks.

I wiped them gently away with my thumbs. "Shh, it's okay. Everything's okay."

"God, I was so scared."

My heart hurt for him, and his honesty and trust in me was humbling. I leaned down and kissed his sweaty forehead. "I would have been too, had I been in your place." I reassured him.

He sighed. "Missed you."

"I missed you too. I wanted to be here, but I couldn't." God, I hated every minute I'd been away from him.

"I know. Brandon told me."

"Brandon visited you?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes, I wasn't expecting a girl, though. You know you never mentioned that part."

I shrugged, "Brandon's Brandon. I don't really think of her as a girl or not."

"Hmm, felt silly being jealous of a girl." He grumped faintly.

I tried to hide the smile and failed. "You were jealous of Brandon?"

He gave me a "duh" look.

I stroked his hair, "No need to be jealous."

I struggled with myself for awhile as I continued to stroke his hair. "Tony, I know that you have things that you have to do, but I want to ask you… I want…" I stammered to a halt not knowing how to continue.

He nuzzled my hand and asked quietly, "What is it, Jasper? What do you want?" He looked at me with those dazzlingly beautiful green eyes.

Resolved, I said firmly, "Find me. I don't care how long it takes. Finish what you need to finish, and then you come find me. I'll wait for you."

He looked troubled, "Jazz…."

I interrupted, knowing what he was going to say. "No, I mean it."

He gave a small smile and nodded, "Okay."

"Good."

He blinked tiredly, "Will you stay with me a little while longer?"

I brushed a feather light kiss over his lips. "Absolutely."


	10. Love Hurts

Thank you for all the lovely reviews! A number of people hoped that we wouldn't see these two separated for too long. I promise it will be only for 2-3 chapters from our standpoint. It's always been important for me to have Tony/Edward to come to terms with his past so he could move on to his future – a much brighter future.

The song for this chapter is "Love Hurts" by Incubus. I wonder how many people thought that it was "Love Hurts" by Nazareth? That song is better known, but I found the Incubus song about a year ago and liked its mellow angst.

EPOV

The next time I woke, Jasper was gone. Even though I expected it, I still felt the bitter sting of disappointment.

Emmett did his best to pick up my spirits, joking that he'd hoped I had a nice visit because he didn't want to get punched again. I promised I wouldn't slug him unless he deserved it.

A week later I was on the mend enough for the doctor to start making noises about discharging me.

"You ever wonder what you're going to do after this is done?" Emmett asked as I ate what would be my final meal in the hospital, thank God.

I shrugged. "Not many people have need for a thug or assassin. Maybe I could be a bouncer or something."

"I've been thinking about getting out of the FBI." He announced, picking at the frayed spot on the knee of his jeans.

"Really?" I asked surprised. With Emmett's skills, he could go far in the Bureau.

"I think it would be cool to run a business providing protection and security consultations. Give old dogs like us a new lease on life."

Old dogs… not even quite thirty yet, but I sure felt old. That's why I'd called Jasper "kid." Although I was only five years older than him, it felt more like twenty. I missed how he made everything seem brighter, happier. Returning to the world I'd always known was all the more difficult after the time I'd spent with him – his kindness, his generosity, his passion … none of which existed on the back streets of Chicago.

"That's a good idea. You should go for it."

He scratched at his head. "I'll have to look into start up costs. I've got some money saved up, but I'm planning on asking Rose to marry me."

I leaned over and slapped his arm, "Good for you! Make an honest woman out of her."

Sam was waiting at the airport for us, and the flight back to Chicago was uneventful. I stared out the window, thinking that I was going in the exact opposite direction I wanted to be, the distance from Jasper growing with each passing minute. I wondered when I would be able to see him again. For his safety, I couldn't contact him in any way. As frustrating as it was, his safety was paramount.

Emmett and I were staying in an apartment that was nice enough. Sam was across the hall. I was still recovering so began a physical therapy routine and regular doctor visits. Problem was I couldn't sleep for shit at night. Nightmares and missing Jasper had me pacing the apartment. Food was not my friend either. Everything tasted like dust and became impossible to swallow.

I was spacing off on the couch one day when Emmett sat in the chair next to me. I didn't bother to look at him.

He gave a big sigh and growled, "This emo shit has got to stop, Tony."

I continued to ignore him.

"You look like hell. You don't eat. You don't sleep. If you won't do this for you, do it for him. Christ, after what he…."

There was no doubt that the "he" was Jasper. I snapped my gaze to Emmett. "After he want?" I asked coldly when he trailed off, looking like he was about to say something he shouldn't.

His expression masked, "After he asked you to come back. How are you supposed to keep your word if you don't take care of yourself?"

I knew there was something Emmett was keeping from me, but the truth of his words hit as the guilt and shame slammed through me. Yes, I couldn't keep doing this. I needed to be strong for Jasper.

It was hard, but I worked to eat and soon it wasn't that difficult any more. Properly nourished, I had more energy and upped my physical therapy. Exhausted, I was able to sleep some.

One night I still felt antsy, despite my workout. "I want to go out." I told Emmett and Sam. "I need to get out of here."

Emmett started to protest, but Sam cut him off. "Where do you want to go?"

"The bookstore."

Emmett snorted, "The bookstore. Jesus, Tony, out of all the places you want to go, it's the bookstore?"

Sam looked at his watch, "It's almost closing time. Should be fairly low risk. Let's go."

Emmett was still shaking his head as we left.

"Hey, is that the sequel to that Indian sex book?" Emmett boomed over my shoulder.

The checkout girl giggled as my Irish complexion flushed red. "No, Emmett, it's a book about meditation," poking a finger at the cover, "Aligning Your Chakras."

"Chakras sounds dirty. Oh, hey you got a book on yoga too. You not going to do naked yoga, are you?"

"What are you talking about?" I huffed.

"Well see Rose does naked yoga, and it's hot."

Desperately trying not to think of my female boss doing anything naked, my mind bounced to memories of Jasper doing yoga, and the thought of him performing his graceful, lithe movements while nude was like a punch in the gut. I bit my lip to restrain the small groan as I envisioned his long, lean body, his tight butt, his proud erection standing tall, his heavy balls…

"Earth to Tony!" I started and moved glazed eyes to Emmett, who was smiling, dimples out in full force. "Daydreaming about your guy there, weren't you? Well let's get out of here."

After I threatened to kill Emmett if he poked me in the ribs again, the meditation started to help. I felt calmer, but at night I searched for Jasper in my dreams. He was elusive, just barely there, no matter how hard I tried to reach him.

While I was recouping, the FBI and US Attorney's office were solidifying their investigation into Carlisle's activities. Chicago Homicide and Vice was also involved. As with most organized crimes, there was to be a grand jury hearing to prove there was enough evidence to go to court.

I met with Assistant US Attorney, Jessica Stanley, to give my deposition and prep for my testimony. She thanked me, gave me her card with a wink, and walked me to the lobby. Waiting to be seen was Vice Detective Mike Newton. We approached and gave each other a half hug and shoulder slap. Emmett raised an eyebrow.

"Good to see you, man!" Mike's boyish features beamed as his alert eyes scanned my face.

"You too." This was the first time Mike and I had met out in public, but he was a friend.

Ms. Stanley tapped her foot impatiently, so Mike hurriedly told me we'd catch up later. I saw Mike give the young attorney a long once over and straightened and puffed himself up to look bigger, while she remained oblivious to his posturing. Interesting.

Once we were in the car, Emmett asked, "Who the hell was that?"

"Mike Newton, Vice."

"Jesus, how many cop friends do you have?"

"Quite a few, actually. Mike and I go way back."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He was investigating a prostitution ring connected with Carlisle. He was able to shut down the operation and get the girls help."

Unfortunately there wasn't enough evidence to nail Carlisle for his involvement. The slippery bastard.

"With you as his informant?

I nodded slightly. There were girls we weren't able to help though. Tanya…. I clinched my fist as I remembered. Yet another person caught up in Carlisle's web.

_At the end of my month long imprisonment in room for running away, Carlisle unlocked my door and shoved a strawberry blond girl into my room. She could have only been a few years old than me, 19 maybe, but her time on the street had hardened her features. _

_Carlisle growled, "Time you grew up, Anthony."_

_He slammed the door shut and relocked the door. My eyes widened in alarm as she sat down on the bed and reached out to stroke my thigh as she cooed at me and told me her name was Tanya. I gulped and tried not to shy away as she brushed higher without touching me. I felt the bile rising in my throat and my head started to swim. I'd kept my being gay away from my uncle, knowing it was a death sentence to revel that information, but I couldn't stomach the thought of using this girl for sex. _

_She must have noticed my panic because she stopped moving her hand and really looked at me. "You scared?" She paused and whispered perceptively, "Or maybe you're not into girls."_

_I recoiled as if she'd struck me and shook my head in denial, too choked up to speak._

_She leaned close, and I fisted my hands at my sides at her unwanted closeness, "It's okay, honey. I have a little secret. I'm into girls."_

_I could tell that she was telling the truth, the sympathy in her eyes._

_I blinked in surprise and found my voice, "Then how can you?" I gestured in a vague manner that she understood._

"_Sometimes life doesn't give us choices. I do what I have to in order to survive." She gave me an understanding look. _

"_You won't tell him then?" I asked, desperate that she'd help._

"_I will. It's not going to be pretty, because he'll want proof."_

_Being a naïve 17 year old, I looked at her blankly. She devised a plan that while in the bathroom to give me privacy, I was to jerk off and make a mess of my sheets like a kid too eager for his first time. I asked her how I was supposed to do this with her nearby – even if it was in another room. She got me thinking about cute actors and to focus on them. I'd had a thing for Brad Pitt in his younger years, especially from "Legend of the Fall" with that gorgeous long, blond hair…My body responded better than I'd hoped, and I brought myself to orgasm with embarrassing quickness._

_She came out of the bathroom with her clothes and hair messed up, her lips swollen looking. She reached over and messed up my hair and gave me a smile. "Good luck, Tony." _

_She knocked and was let out. When Carlisle came into my room and saw me looking like sex incarnate, I was released from my imprisonment. As promised, she didn't say a word._

_Ever grateful that she kept my secret, I did what I could for Tanya. Extra money, protection, and then I got Mike involved. Tanya died the night before the police raided the site and rescued the girls. A drugged out john used her face as a punching bag. The police found him a week later with a bullet in his brain…my bullet._

That night, I slept restlessly, seeing the faces of those I couldn't save. Remorse and fear clung to me as I tried to navigate the blackness of my subconscious. Then a light appeared in the darkness. I looked to it with relief. There I saw Jasper's silhouette. He reached out for me, and I sobbed in relief as I clasped his hand. Falling against him, I let him take my weight as he held me close.

"I've got you, darlin'" He whispered.

A week later, I testified at the grand jury along with others. It was determined that there was sufficient evidence to move to trial and Carlisle was arrested. He was not granted bail, given the flight risk, and the trial was scheduled for three months out.

I used the time to continue to get strong, both mentally and physically. Jasper had taught me I could be a better man, and I would do my damn best to become that man.

E&J&E&J&E&J

A lot had happened since I returned to Texas. I moved into my own home, with Agent Black taking over as my security. Papa was doing wonderfully – the cancer was gone and he was regaining his strength. I launched my software company without Brandon, who was working for the man. And by the man, I mean THE MAN. Brandon was now working for the FBI with the assistance of our software. I hear her case closing was already legendary.

While I stayed very busy, I still missed Tony something fierce. I received auto alerts on my Blackberry of Chicago news. I followed the arrest of notorious crime boss Carlisle Cullen, and was in no doubt that he was Tony's uncle. I wished there was some way I could contact him, to let him know I was there for him, but it wasn't allowed. No e-mail, no phone calls… I understood the reason for it but it didn't make it any easier.

Eric, my new assistant, came in. "Hey, Jasper, one of those FBI guys dropped this off for you."

Jacob grabbed the thin box from his hands, "I'd better check it out."

"But it came from the FBI," I protested as Eric placed his hands on his hips and glared while Jacob ripped open the box.

He pulled out a book, shook it vigorously and then dumped it on the floor with a shrug. He left the room, and I leaned down for the carelessly discarded book. It was book on meditation that clearly had been well read. As I opened the book to the beginning, there were a few words written in bold, masculine script.

_Miss You_

I ran my finger tips over the words as tears welled in my eyes. Tony. He'd found a way to communicate, both with the words and the book itself.

Eric looked at me curiously. My behavior was no doubt odd looking. "It's from him, isn't it? Your hot protector guy?"

"Yes," I said.

Later I pulled out my favorite book of Irish poetry and wrote a short message. I gave the envelope to Jacob and instructed him to send it to the Chicago office to Emmett. He'd make sure it'd get to Tony.


	11. had Enough

Thank you readers and reviewers! It was a great weekend for writing, so here you go.

The song for this chapter is "Had Enough" by Breaking Benjamin. Link to the lyrics is on my profile page.

I'm not an expert in law/trials and frankly, I know we all want to see the boys getting back together, so I will not go into the trial with much detail.

EPOV

A small part of me had hoped that Jasper would choose to reply to the book message, but after a number of months, I received nothing in kind.

It didn't keep me from following his activities the best I could by viewing the updates on his company's website and following tech alerts. I was watching a video of one of the largest tech conferences where Jasper was rolling out the international launch of his AssistPro software. The U.S. launch had been a huge success, and Jasper's unheralded low pricing made his software accessible to disabled people who couldn't afford expensive software. He even provided assistance with hardware and internet expenses. In a sea of khaki and glasses, Jasper looked like a rock star in his jeans and boots. His blond hair shone like gold as I watched him absently brush his curls back over his ear as he enthusiastically promoted the launch. His voice was hypnotic.

"You know I never figured you going for a nerd boy." Emmett said over my shoulder, and I jolted in my chair as I hadn't heard him approach.

Emmett chuckled, "Although, he's pretty hot. If I were gay, I'd do him."

I couldn't suppress the growl that rumbled deep from my chest and turned to glare at him.

"Dude, check the Alpha. I'm not poaching on your turf." He slapped my shoulder and paused to listen to the video.

"Say what language is he speaking in?"

I turned back and refocused on Jasper as he continued to speak fluent Irish into a microphone, which transferred perfectly into text on the computer, which was then translated into English. Fuck me. Three things hit me at once. 1) Irish spoken with his Texas accent was fucking adorable 2) There was a good chance he knew what I'd said to him in Nebraska 3) Maybe he'd learned the language because of me. My heart swelled at all three.

I croaked out, "He's speaking Gaelic – or Irish, as anyone from Ireland, like my family, calls it."

"So he's speaking like a pro in your family's language. Shit, Tony, he's something else."

"I know."

As the trial approached, I spent a lot of time with the lawyers. My past was going to get nailed hard by the defense team. I knew it was going to be difficult, but I was determined to see this through.

Flanked by Sam and Emmett, I entered the courthouse by a side door. Other agents pushed aside the few press people staking out the entrance.

I ignored their shouted questions and commentary about the heir to a crime empire testifying against his father. Cameras flashed as I pressed forward to the courtroom. We sought seats in the back.

The session hadn't started yet, so Mike came over with Kate and Irina, who promptly embraced me on either side and hugged on tight. I hugged them back; it was so good to see them again after all these years. It wasn't safe for me to contact them directly after they'd been freed.

Kate spoke first, "Mike told us what you did for us. Thanks to you, we now have jobs at a nice hair salon. Thank you!"

I'd pulled in some favors to get them training and jobs. I was glad that my FBI funds had helped them. They looked good. They looked happy.

Irina whispered, "She would have been so proud of you, Tony. We want you to have this for luck."

She pressed a cheap, silver bracelet into my hand. I recognized the "T" charm. It was Tanya's."

"Thank you."

Everyone was directed to be seated, so Mike and girls went to the other side to find seats. Ms. Stanley gave Mike a subtle wave from the first row. It looked like she took my advice and had accepted his request for a date. Smiling, I placed the bracelet into my pocket.

I was called and approached the stand after Emmett gave me a fist bump. As I passed the table, Carlisle fixed me with a cold stare.

The bailiff intoned, "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in this case, under penalty of perjury, so help you God?"

"I do."

"State your name and occupation and be seated on the witness stand."

Staring at Carlisle, I spoke my full hated name loud and clear, "Anthony Carlisle Cullen, FBI Consultant."

Carlisle, known for his temper, rose up from his chair and hissed loudly in Irish, "You are dead to me!"

There were astonished murmurs around the courtroom.

The judge banged his gavel and said, "Mr. Cullen, that is enough. If you cannot restrain yourself, you will be removed from this courtroom."

He paused, and Carlisle sat back down.

"Proceed."

As a star witness of the prosecution and the most damning to the defense, I was on the stand for a grueling two and a half weeks. And was recalled to the stand twice more before the end of the trial. For the rest of the time, I watched the news like everyone else because I was only allowed to be present for my testimony and for the reading of the verdict for security reasons.

"Tony, we need to get our butts down to the courthouse. The jury's ready to deliver the verdict."

We sat in a buzzing courtroom as the jury was seated. The jury foreman read off the long list of offenses, which were each followed with "guilty."

After solemnly listening to the verdict, the judge sentenced Carlisle to life in prison with no possibility for parole.

Emmett was bouncing up and down as we left. "You did it! You nailed the bastard to the wall! We need to celebrate. What do ya want to do?"

"I want to get a tattoo." I replied.

Emmett looked at me with a puzzled expression, "You want to celebrate with needles and possibly Hep C?"

"I know a good place. Don't worry."

Emmett shrugged as we got in with Sam.

Sam watched the door while I explained what I wanted and watched the design being sketched. Emmett wondered around, and sat in a chair as I was prepped. While I was being worked on, I noticed that Emmett was getting some ink too, his pants and Calvin's pushed down on one side. I raised an eyebrow at Sam. Well, Emmett was seizing the day apparently.

The next day Emmett and I drove out to cemetery my parents were buried at. I placed flowers on their graves.

"I did it. I'm sorry it took so long, but I did it."

I heard Emmett whistle and looked up to see a black BMW sedan pull up. He placed his hand on his pistol as a woman got out of the car.

Esme.

I signaled for Emmett to stand down, and she walked over to stand next to me.

"They must be so proud of you, Tony. I know I am." She paused as her voice tightened, "I'm so sorry. I thought I could protect you."

I wrapped an arm around her. "Shh. You did the best you could. You didn't know what he was capable of."

She gave a weak smile, "Not at first. Carlisle could be very charming. I thought I was a princess from a fairy tale those first few years, but then I woke up." She paused and took a deep breath, "I'm leaving. I'm going back to Ireland. If you ever get a chance to visit, please come see me."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a key, "This is yours. It's not much, but it's clean. It's your inheritance. I hid it from Carlisle."

I took the key from her, and she rose up on her toes to kiss my cheek, "I love you, Tony."

"Love you too, Esme. Take care."

I watched her go and then looked down at the key in my hand. The name of the bank was stamped on it.

"Emmett, let's go."

"Where to?"

"A bank."

"Bookstores, tattoo parlors, banks… dude, do you even know how to have fun?"

At the bank, I asked to be taken to my safety deposit box. Apparently that caused a stir, and a Mr. J. Jenks appeared to assist me. I opened the box after he set it on a table and discreetly stepped aside. Inside the box was an envelope of pictures, ones of my mom and dad, and all of us together. I pulled out an official looking certificate.

Record of Birth

Edward Anthony Masen

I was staring at my birth certificate. Suddenly the whole world was wide open in front of me as I realized I could now reclaim my real name. How right it would be to discard the hated name for my true one.

Mr. Jenks cleared his throat. "Will you be transferring your funds, Mr. Cullen?"

He pressed some paperwork in front of me. From what I could see, it was for 10 million dollars.

Emmett whistled softly. "That's a lot of zeroes."

I looked up at him, "Enough to start a business?"

He smiled, "Shit yeah."

A few days later I was having a dream about Jasper and woke up to Emmett shoving at me. I rolled over and opened my eyes to a face full of Emmett below the belt.

"Jesus, Emmett, warn a guy when you're going to expose your junk!" I said and pushed up to a sitting position.

"Is it infected?" he asked, sounding suspiciously like a whine as he tipped his hip up.

"What?" I asked not quite awake yet and rubbed my eyes.

I dared another look and saw that he was pointing to a small tattoo…. of a teddy bear. I snorted, "You got a teddy bear tat!"

He huffed, "Rose calls me her snuggly bear…"

I held my hand up to silence him, "I don't want to hear about you and my former boss. It's just gross. Let me look."

I examined his tat. "Looks good, just make sure to add lotion so it doesn't dry out."

That night we had some people over to celebrate the win. Mike stopped over and thanked me for setting him up with Jessica.

Emmett gave me a look of disgust, "You're nothing but a big softy!"

I shot back, "Says the man with the teddy bear tat."

Sam spewed his beer as he laughed.

Emmett growled but then smiled.

Sam handled me a folded piece of paper, "For you."

I opened it, and it contained only a phone number. I looked up with hope, and he nodded.

I looked at my watch. It would be 8 o'clock in Texas.

"Excuse me." I said and went to my room.

I sat on my bed and took a deep breath.

I dialed the number, and it rang a few times.

"Hello." It wasn't Jasper.

"Sorry, must have the wrong…" I started.

"Oh, it's you. I wondered when you'd come sniffing around."

Black. Why was the fucker answering Jasper's phone?

He continued, "Well you can just forget it. Jasper's seeing someone else. Someone a lot better than a piece of shit like you. Don't bother calling back."

He disconnected, and I stared at the phone. Jasper had moved on?

E&J&E&J&E&J

JPOV

"Don't bother calling back." Jake said into my cell phone as I walked into my office.

"Who was that?" I asked, not pleased. I was tired of how Jake ruled over everything in my house. And now it apparently included my cell phone. Maybe I should ask for a different agent.

"Just a telemarketer. I blocked the number." He said and set the phone down.

"Look, there's no reason to monitor my cell phone."

He gave me a contrite look, "Sorry, man, just wanted to make sure it wasn't your dad, since I know you'd hate to miss his call."

Well, I couldn't be mad at that. "It's okay. Just let it go to voicemail next time."

He gave me a big smile, "Sure thing."


	12. Iridescent

Sorry it's been so long since I updated. This summer was very hectic with working overtime, etc. that I've hardly had time for anything else. Let's get back to reuniting our two guys.

The song for this chapter is "Iridescent" by Linkin Park. Lyrics are on my profile page.

'APB' stands for "All Points Bulletin." It's a broadcast issued from one US law enforcement agency to another.

'BOLO' stands for "Be on the Lookout." Another cop term.

'Plasticuffs' are plastic restraints that law enforcement can carry in large quantities easier than standard metal cuffs.

EPOV

Anger had me dialing after Black disconnected. I shook my head at the automated voice stating the number had been blocked.

Despair. Anger. Betrayal. Pain. All these feelings and more hit me as I flung my phone against the far wall and sank to the floor, my back to my bed. My head in my hands, I tried to focus as lifelong patterns of distrust, suspicion, and rage ran through my mind. Jasper. This was Jasper. Even if he'd moved on, he wouldn't be callous about it. Something didn't add up here. I ran through our brief but amazing time together. Everything spoke of Jasper's innate goodness, his honesty, and strength. I shivered as I remembered with a bittersweet pang the gentleness with which he'd made love to me, the fear in his eyes as I lay shot on the ground, and the determination on his face when he'd told me he'd wait for me. He hadn't replied to the book message but surely his speaking Irish meant something. I wrestled with my thoughts for some time before making my decision. Once made, some of the weight threatening to crush me lifted from my chest. Regardless of the outcome, I had a promise to keep.

E&J&E&J&E&J

JPOV

I stared out the window, lost in my thoughts. When would I hear from Tony? I'd watched the news footage of his uncle's conviction with tears in my eyes. He had done it. I was so proud, as I knew that much have been very difficult testifying against his uncle. He had fought against a dark destiny and won. It'd been nearly a week since the trial's conclusion, and I still hadn't heard from him.

I fingered the gold chain around my neck and pulled the medallion up to my lips. Tony. I closed my eyes, and I could almost feel his arms around me and hear him whisper, **"Mo Thaisce." ****_My treasure. _**Yes, I'd learned several months ago what he had said to me and those wonderful phrases had kept my hope going.

But now I felt confused, disappointed, and lonely as it appeared yet another day would pass without hearing from him. Whispers of doubt ran through my head. What if he'd decided not to be with me? What if he was happy where he was, in what he was doing, now that he was free? What happened if he didn't come? I was a patient man, but even my patience had its limits. I knew deep down that I would seek him out. I would give him a bit more time to resolve his past, and then I would track down my beautiful man and remind him of how good we were together.

A chirp from my computer drew my attention, signaling an instant message from Brandon.

I swirled around in my chair and read her message.

Gt ot nw Dnt trst J

_Get out now. Don't trust Jacob. _

Instantly I was as alert as I'd been while on the run with Tony. I was up and stalking around my desk within seconds of reading the message. I reached automatically out to pocket my cell, but remembered that it could be tracked. Leaving it where it was, I hustled it to the garage. As I neared my motorcycle, a heavy weight hit me from behind, and I staggered up against the wall.

I instinctively slammed my head back against the person crowded up against me. Jake cursed as my head connected with his face with a satisfying crunching sound. I took advantage of the distance and swung my fist backwards towards his crouch. He twisted so that the blunt of the blow hit his thigh, but he grunted in pain as I managed to still hit part of the intended target.

I struggled to break loose as his grip tightened on me and his weight shoved me back up against the wall. He growled in my ear. "He just couldn't stay away." A sharp prick pierced my thigh through my jeans and everything got blurry. Drugged. I made another attempt to escape as my vision went from blurry to black. Then there was nothingness.

E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J

EPOV

My decision made, I opened my laptop and scheduled the first flight available, which was tomorrow afternoon. I stretched out on my bed and tried to sleep, anticipation and dread warring in my head. Did he still want me? I had to know the truth, even if it devastated me. Deep down, I knew there would be no other like Jasper for me.

Emmett knocked and opened my door without waiting for an answer.

His tense expression had my instant attention.

"Pack a bag. We're leaving on a federal plane in 45 minutes." He growled out.

Fear clenched my heart. "Jasper?"

He nodded. "Black made a call to a suspicious number in Mexico. Lucky for us Special Agent Brandon was conducting unauthorized monitoring on his calls. By the time agents arrived Jake and Jasper were gone. Some blood and a syringe were found in the garage. The tox report came back indicating it was a tranquilizer. A dark colored SUV is missing from the house. The APB has gone out. Media is being blocked. We don't want Black to do something stupid."

Fuck. My hands shook as I threw clothes in a bag and strapped on my Glock. Sam and Emmett quietly discussed tactics as we loaded onto to the plane. I half listened to them, as I thought about how I would kill anyone who harmed Jasper. _Dear God, please keep him safe._

E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J

JPOV

When I came to, the world lurched and spun. I fought back the urge to wretch as nausea hit me. I moaned and tried to open my eyes again. This time I was able to crack them open enough to see that I was in the back of an SUV. I shifted to my side with difficulty, as my hands when tied in front of me.

Jacob's tense voice drifted back. "Sorry I had to do that. Just following orders."

I licked my dry lips and asked, "Why?"

There was a long pause, and I'd begun to doubt that Jacob was going to answer me.

"My dad has diabetes. He needs medicine and expensive treatments. The Bureau doesn't pay that great for junior members, so I borrowed money. But I choose the wrong people to borrow it from." He paused and when he continued, his voice was full of regret, "I was only supposed to do my job and only report if Cullen tried to contact you. Then they told me I had to bring you to them. If I refused, they'd kill my dad and sisters."

Tony had tried to reach me. Suddenly it was obvious. The call Jake had taken on my cell.

"Who are you taking me to, Jake?"

"Maria."

I tensed. She'd be wantin' to finish the job despite not being able to get Daddy's money.

"I'm sorry, Jasper." He said, remorse clear in his voice.

As I felt better, I tucked into myself so my fingers could touch my boot. Relief filled me as they brushed the hilt of the knife hidden in thin slit in the inside of my boot. I gingerly worked to remove the knife and began working to undo the ropes holding my wrists together.

Jake pulled over just as I freed myself. I hastily wrapped the ropes around me to look like I was still tied.

I heard another car pull up and listened as Jake argued with the men in Spanish. They weren't Maria's men but her brother's. Jake didn't like this change of plans and refused to give me to them.

"You're no longer of any use to us, law man." One of the men said and there was a scuffle. Shots rang out. I flung the ropes off me and crawled over seats and into the driver's seat, thanking my stars for my flexibility. As the last man standing raised his gun towards me, Jake shot from the ground. The man fell. His gun went off, and I felt the SUV rock from being hit, but he'd missed me.

Pulling my knife, I climbed out and checked the men. Dead. Jake was gasping as blood darkened his shirt. I knelt next to him and tried to stop the flow of blood.

"Go. There's nothing you can do for me. More will be coming. You need to go."

A tear ran down his cheek as I squeezed his hand. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. My family…"

He died before he could finish, but I made a silent vow to make sure the FBI took care of his family.

I reversed the SUV and headed back to a highway. Jake had taken us to a very remote area, and I had no real bearings where I was. I drove until I ran out of gas, still not finding any civilization. I continued on foot. I stumbled with exhaustion and the remaining effects of the drug Jake used but doggedly moved on.

A noise penetrated my consciousness, and I recognized it as motorcycles. I turned as several bikes pulled up and stopped around me. Rough looking bikers eyed me as they got off their bikes.

"Well, well, what do we have here," One said in a gruff voice, his eyes alight with sexual interest as he scanned my body.

I backed up and leaned down to pull the knife from my boot. I watched them warily, ready to fight to the death. Just like Tony, I would be no man's bitch.

E&J&E&J&E&J&E&J

EPOV

Three days. Three fucking days and no Jasper. We'd found Jake dead along with three MS-7 men. We'd discovered the abandoned SUV with blood on the stirring wheel and cut ropes in the back. Searching and searching and not finding. The Federal Marshals brought in search dogs. I refused to believe that he was dead.

Days continued to pass. Sam, Emmett, and I watched MS-7 activity. BOLOs were issued on all key MS-7 members known to operate in the area. We had a break on Maria's location and picked up her trail inside Texas.

We found her car on remote freeway. Sam gunned his truck around them and spun to a stop in front of them to cut them off. They did an arcing turn, heading about towards Emmett and me. As Emmett accelerated, I opened the moon roof, stood, and aimed for the front tire.

The car swerved dangerously close as the tire went out.

Emmett swung us out of the way as I ducked back into the car. The other car flipped onto its side and skidded to a halt.

Sam pulled up, and the three of us cautiously approached the disabled car, our guns drawn and ready.

Two men crawled out with their hands up. Maria emerged from the car, no longer looking like the cool, beauty I'd known. She had a wild look in her eyes and the scowl marred her features.

I grabbed her arm, and turned her around against our car. After patting her down, I used plasticuffs to secure her wrists behind her and shoved her in the back seat of our car.

Emmett got into the truck with Sam to watch his prisoners.

As I drove, Maria cackled, "So your querido is missing. So sad for you."

"Where is he?" I bit out.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Texas has no problem putting women on Death Row."

That sobered her right up. "I don't know where he is, honestly. I think Jose Luis might have him."

"Like I'd trust you to give up your brother," I sneered.

"He tried to have me killed. He's making a power play and wants me out."

At the station, I watched as Maria was interrogated.

Emmett turned toward me, "You want in on this raid?"

I shook my head, "Jasper won't be there. Jose Luis would have killed him by now and made sure we knew about it. You go and get the bastard. I'm going to look for new angles."

He nodded his head, "I'll call you when we've got Jose Luis in custody."

I sat at a desk with the case folder in front of me. Jasper's trial ended with the SUV. There was nothing around for miles. The search dogs had found nothing. As I read over all the scene details, something clicked. Motorcycle tire tracks.

I pulled out my phone. "Hey, Brandon. Nothing yet but I think I may have something. Give me a run down on all known biker groups and hangouts in a 400 mile radius from where the SUV was found."

"I'll send you all the specifics in an e-mail. Good luck, Tony. I know you'll find him."

"Your lips to God's ear," I murmured before disconnecting.

Armed with Brandon's intel, I bought biker gear and borrowed a Harley. I started at the SUV's location and systematically starting visiting possible locations. At each location, I asked about Jasper, who I mentioned was an old buddy. My appearance and manner didn't raise any suspicion but no one had seen him.

Then my luck changed at a rest stop hundreds of miles away from where the SUV had been found. I joined a few bikers smoking next to their bikes.

"Hey, can I bum a smoke?" I asked and one handed one over.

We shot the breeze for awhile, and then I mentioned Jasper.

The shorter one said, "You know that kind of sounds like one of the guys we saw a few hours ago. They were heading west and mentioned planning to stop at this bar. What was it called?"

"Long Jonny's," his companion replied. After finishing my smoke, I thanked them and left.

My gut told me I was on the right track. I pulled up to the bar, Long Jonny's, and couldn't help a small grin at the name since Brandon's information indicated it was a gay biker bar.

Talking stopped as I walked in and approached the bar. Eyes bore into my back as I sat down on a stool and ordered a beer.

A low buzz of conversation took place at the tables behind me, but I pretended to pay no attention to the tension I sensed in the air.

I took a long swig of my beer when someone settled on the stool right next to me despite the many other vacant stools at the bar.

"So you're not from around here, are you?" I heard the all too familiar drawl ask.

My heart lurged in happiness. Jasper. My baby was alive and sitting right next to me.

Not knowing the situation he was in, I played to his cue.

"Nope, I'm from Chicago." I said and turned to look at him. What I saw took my breath away. Jasper had a bandana covering most of his hair, mirrored sunglasses, leather jacket, jeans, and boots. I turned back to my beer, faking casualness.

"Long way from home," Jasper observed.

"It's not really home anymore."

Jazz didn't say anything but his thigh brushed mine as he shifted on his stool. Heat radiated around to my groin in my body's instant recognition of his touch.

"How about you? You live around here?" I asked.

"Naw, just spending some time on the road."

"Alone or with friends?"

"Friends. They're great guys."

I nodded. "It's important to have friends to watch your back. The road is a great place to be, but it's important to know when it's time to go home."

"That's something to think about."

Lowering my voice, I said, "Can you leave?"

He nodded and replied, "I'll meet you outside."

I thanked the bartender and stood to leave. Unable to resist, I looked over to Jasper, wishing I could see his beautiful eyes.

"I'll be waiting."

His jaw clinched, and I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

I sat on my bike and called Brandon and then Emmett. My message was brief. "I found him. He's okay. I'm bringing him home."

I watched Jazz leave the bar and stride toward me. The biker outfit coupled with his usual fluid grace translated into one fine, bad ass image. I shifted in the seat as my body said, "Oh, yes."

Without a word, he straddled the bike behind me, his hands gripping my waist. The noise of a motorcycle doesn't lend to conversation, but a sense of satisfaction come over me when his hands crept up under the bottom of my t-shirt and came to rest on my bare flesh. I had my man, and we were going home.


	13. Home

The song of this chapter is "Home" by Daughtry.

JPOV

The ride seemed endless, but I didn't mind. As long I was with Tony, everything was right in my world. All the fear and worry of the last several days seeped out of me as I pressed my palms to his warm torso. I leaned forward enough to brush a kiss on the back of his neck. His answering shiver made me grin. We were going home.

I was dead tired when we arrived. Emmett and Daddy were waiting for us. I hugged Daddy, and he smiled at Tony. "You did it. You kept him safe."

Tony grinned, "Mr. Whitlock, he did that all on his own. I just brought him home."

"Thank you." Daddy blinked tears from his eyes.

Emmett and Tony gave us space as Daddy and I reconnected. I tried not to yawn, but I was beat. Daddy patted my knee before standing.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Mr. McCarty's driving me home."

We hugged again, and I walked with him to the door.

Tony and Emmett stood in the entryway waiting patiently. Daddy shook Tony's hand, while Emmett thumped me on the shoulder.

After they left, I turned towards Tony. He gave me a gentle smile.

"Let's get you upstairs. You look like you're about ready to drop."

He followed me upstairs, and my body was hyperaware of his nearness. I flopped down on my bed and sighed happily when he removed my boots and socks.

I heard him mutter, "That's how you got out of the ropes."

I opened an eye and saw him holding my knife. "Yeah, someone once taught me it was important to be prepared."

His eyes glittered as he placed the knife on my dresser. "Hopefully you'll never need to use it again."

Whatever I was going to say next quickly fled my mind as he reached for the top of my jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them. On autopilot, I tipped up my hips so he could slip them down and off my legs.

My eyes drifted closed, and I felt a light blanket placed over me. There was so much to that needed to be said between us, but I accepted that now was not the time.

My lips curved up into a smile, as his lips brushed my temple. "Sleep, Jazz. You're home now."

Drowsily, I thought my house had never felt more like a home until now.

* * *

I woke to someone knocking on my bedroom door.

I sat up and said, "Come in."

I felt a twinge of disappointment when my assistant, Eric, sashayed in as I was expecting Tony.

"Well, hello sleepyhead! I've been waiting downstairs like for hours!" I glanced over at my clock and was surprised to see it was already 11 a.m.

Eric went on, his hands gesturing like crazy as he talked, "When I got here, I was interrogated and frisked. Frisked! Can you believe it?" He paused and gave me a sly wink.

"Not that I minded. That man gives a whole new meaning to FBI like Fabulously Beautiful Individual or Finest Body Imaginable. La– tee–da!"

I tried to cover my grin. Aw, to be young and flaming. Eric's over-the-top mannerisms and clothes had brightened my spirits over these last dark months.

He continued with a pout, "I think he must be straight though. So alpha, and he didn't seem the least bit interested in me. I mean, seriously, who could resist this butt?"

He tossed his wispy black hair with red streaks, twisted his lower half towards me, and pointed at his rear in indignation.

I choked back a laugh as I saw Tony appear in the doorway.

Eric went still and said, "He's standing behind me. Isn't he?"

When I nodded, he trilled out in an affected tone, "AWKWARD!"

He turned and looked at Tony, who was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, and then back at me. His eyes widened and he gushed, "Oh my, gosh! He's the one, isn't he?"

I rolled my eyes. Jesus, there was nothing subtle about Eric.

"Eric, it was good of you to stop by, but I think it's time you go. I'll be back to work on Monday."

"Oh, yeah, right. Take care, Jasper. Everyone's so glad you're home."

He brushed by Tony and gave a little shriek when Tony growled at him.

"Why are you terrorizing my assistant?" I asked, unable to keep the small smirk off my face.

"He was told not to bug you. Then I find him in here showing you his rear." The possessive tone was not lost on me.

I laughed as he strode over to bed, his eyes taking in my bed head and stubble.

"You look better. How about you get a shower, and I'll make you lunch. You've got a debrief in a few hours."

I was digging around in my dresser for a t-shirt when Tony poked his head in to say that lunch was ready.

I turned towards him, telling him I'd be down in a few minutes.

He just stood there staring at me.

"Tony?"

He visibly took a breath and gestured towards my neck. "You're wearing it."

I gave him a small smile, "Yeah, all the time, but now that you're here, you probably want it back."

"No!" He said forcefully. "I mean, no, I'd like you to keep it."

"Thank you." I fingered the medallion before asking, "So now that I'm home, what are your plans?"

"That depends on you." He returned.

"How so?"

"I'm here to keep a promise, if you still want me to."

"I still do." Letting him read what he wanted to in my eyes.

Never taking his eyes from mine, he moved towards me with the strong, graceful stride of his. He stopped in front of me, dropped his mouth to capture mine in a soul searching kiss, as his hands ran over my bare arms and back.

"Jasper," He moaned before his tongue sought entrance into my mouth.

I rubbed against him as we kissed, feeling release close to the surface.

He pulled back slightly, and placed his forehead against mine. "You always did have the ability to destroy any good intentions I had."

I chuckled and began unbuttoning his shirt, "Good intentions are highly overrated."

I pushed his shirt off his shoulders and off and then pulled up his undershirt. He lifted his arms, so I could pull it off the rest of the way. I paused as I took in his new tat. My fingers traced the amazing rendering of a phoenix bursting up from the ashes. I loved the bold black lines and red and orange coloring. My eyes met his and he smiled.

"Got it right after the verdict was read. If you look at closely at the wings, you'll see your name several times. I couldn't have done it without you."

"But I didn't do anything." I protested, inwardly thrilled that my name was on his body.

Tony shook his head, "You were with me every step of the way, reminding me to be the kind of man I want to be, the kind of man that you would want."

Tears pricked my eyes. "I do want you, with all of me."

We crawled onto the bed, and Tony pressed me gently onto my back, and began to cherish my body with kisses, licks, and little nips. After raining my face, neck, and chest with mind blowing sensations, he worked his way down my tummy.

"Jazz?" He sat back on his heels, looking down at my belly button.

"Hmmm?" I leaned up on my elbows trying figure out what he was looking at. Realization dawned that he was staring at the half inch surgical scar near my belly button, which stood out a pale pink.

He looked down at the scars marking his own lower abdomen and then looked into my eyes.

"It was you, wasn't it? The kidney donor who was miraculously happened to be available when I needed it must?"

I nodded mutely as his face darkened.

"There are risks with surgery. What would I have done if you'd had complications or died?"

I gave a small shrug, "The risk was worth it. You would have died without my kidney."

He gave an angry grunt and asked, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"I asked everyone not say anything. I didn't want you to feel beholden to me."

He pulled my hand up to his heart as a tear rain down his face. "Everything that I am belongs to you. Not because I feel indebted to you, but because I love you." He let out a shaky breath, "God, you're the most amazing man I know."

I brushed the tear off his face and leaned up to kiss him. "I could say the same thing about you. And Lord knows how much I love you."

He groaned and captured my lips, pausing every once in awhile to curse me for taking such risks and telling me both in English and Irish how much he adored me. He made me chuckle when he muttered into my neck that if I'd died he would have found a way to sneak into Heaven and kick my ass.

"Tony, please." I mewed out as I rubbed up against him. It'd been so long. I needed him buried deep, and I needed him now.

He stripped both of us out of our jeans in record time.

"Stuff?" he asked, and I waved my hand toward my dresser.

"In my sock drawer."

He got up and pulled out a large, unopened box of condoms and lube. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"I was feeling hopeful."

He smiled down at me, "Well, how about we make those hopes a reality."

Hell, yeah. I loved the way he thought. I spread my knees and gave him a smoldering look, which he returned.

He leaned down and started kissing me, as one hand worked my cock and the other teased my asshole.

I gasped as one finger breached my hole, and my body immediately responded, knowing who it belonged to. He continued to prepare me, and I was about to come undone by the time he put on a condom and entered me carefully.

My legs pushed up towards my chest, he filled my ass with his long, thick beautiful dick, and I almost cried at the rightness of it. Then I was caught up in the sensations, of the overwhelming pleasure he was giving me.

He stared into my eyes as he pumped with his large hands grasping my legs, and his green eyes darkened as he shifted, brushing my prostate.

"Tony!" I screamed as I shot my load in between us. He yelled, and I felt his dick pulse inside me. It'd been so long for us, that I just kept coming and coming.

Tony eventually carefully pulled out and dropped the condom into the trashcan next to my bed. He settled back down, and pulled me up close.

He teased me gently, "Someone went off like a fire hose."

I cuffed his arm lightly, "Well, it's been a long time."

He cupped my jaw, "Never again. I promise."

I grinned, "Better not or I'll hunt you down."

As we relaxed, Tony told me about his new company and how he planned to relocate here in Texas so we could be close.

"Why don't you move in here?"

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, no reason for us to live in separate places."

"I'd really like that. If you get sick of me, just kick me out."

"Ain't gonna happen, Mr. Cullen."

There was a pause, and he stroked my hip.

"I'm thinking about changing my name."

"Really?"

"Yeah, my birth name is Edward Anthony Masen."

"I like it."

"Really? Not too old fashioned?"

I gave a short laugh, "You're looking at a true son of the South. With a name like Jasper Bartholomew Monroe Whitlock, I have no say on defining 'old fashioned.' Edward. Hmmm. No, I think that's actually a very sexy name."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm hhmmm, let me show you just how sexy, Edward," I purred and gently bit his shoulder.

"God, I love you, Jazz. I can't tell you how much." He shuddered as I continued to bite and suck my way along his neck.

"I love you, too, and I plan on taking a long, long time just showing you how much."

Words disappeared as we expressed our feelings with our bodies.

Finally, I was home.

* * *

A/N Kidneys are actually removed near the belly button– I know from family experience. May seem strange to some, so wanted to make sure you knew I wasn't making stuff up. ;)

A short Epilogue will follow this chapter.


	14. Epilogue

EPOV

Jasper sat in the interview room with Senior Special Agent Charlie Swan, a seasoned veteran who was gruff, but yet had a reputation for drawing out details with his quiet, solid approach.

Emmett and I watched via monitor from another part of the building. The local branch was concerned that I would be a disruption to Jasper's debriefing.

"That fucker!" I growled as Jazz recounted how he'd fought with Jake and how he'd been drugged.

Emmett made sympathetic sound. I got up and paced the room, fury running through me as Jasper continued. If the man wasn't already dead, he'd be dead now. I stopped short when Jazz mentioned Black's reasons for helping Maria. Emmett called Sam as soon as Jazz made a plea for watching over the Black family. I rubbed my chest at the lurch Jasper's compassion brought.

I tensed as he described what happened with Jose Louis' men appeared. Jesus, my baby was damn lucky to be alive. Knowing that Jake had a part in his being alive eased some of the anger that was burning a hole in my gut.

I sat back down as I watched Jasper relive leaving in the SUV, shaken from his near death experience, Jake's death, and the residual effects from the tranquilizer. I pursed my lips when he recounted the confusion of his location. Even though I knew he came out of this fine, a sense of dread settled on me as I pictured him walking, exhausted and dehydrated, barely on his feet, when the motorcycle gang stopped.

"I knew I wouldn't last long in a fight but I wasn't going down without on. A few of them were looking at me weird, so I pulled my knife out of my boot and backed up. Some looked surprised and a few chuckled. One of them asked what I was doing out in the middle of nowhere. I told them I was on the run from MS7. That was enough for them to offer me a ride. I was able to earn their respect and remain with them."

I knew enough about motorcycle gangs to know that earning respect involved violence or crime or both. Swan didn't pursue this line of questioning, but I knew Jasper was glossing over something.

I asked him about it later, and he gave a one shoulder shrug. "There was a guy who was interested in me and I told him I was taken."

This triggered my instincts even more, but Jasper clammed up, after saying he could take care of himself. Not able to leave it alone, I did some digging, and uncovered a bar fight in which one of the motorcycle gang members sustained a broken nose and other injuries. The police only had a vague description of the other person, who'd left before they arrived but I knew it'd been Jasper. My baby had kicked the shit out of a man who out weighed him by at least 60 lbs. I felt guilty for going behind his back to find this out, but it allowed me to stop imagining what he'd gone through.

Emmett shipped my few belongings out, and Jasper made me feel like his home was also mine. He even set up another desk in his spacious den where we often worked near each other on our very different work.

It was an interesting time, and I screwed up, often. I didn't have any relationship experience and was still worried about Jasper's safety. He called me on my shit. He had the patience of a saint. Once I asked him in frustration at myself, "Why do you put up with me?" Partly afraid that he'd reach his limit and kick me out.

He looked at me directly and said with conviction, "Because I love you."

So I tried to learn from my mistakes, figured that apologizing wasn't that hard because I meant it, and discovered that make up sex is phenomenal.

Things got easier after the last remaining hit orders on Jasper were called off. A week after Maria and Jose Luis were arrested, there was a coup and their father was murdered. The new leader cancelled all outstanding hits.

Even though we were living together, we went through the new relationship stuff that we'd missed while on the run. We learned about each other's interests and quirks. Jasper threw himself into his work and sometimes forgot to eat, so I hired a cook to make sure he was eating right. I learned that giving him good massage helped him when he hit a creative roadblock. Like many Texans, Jasper loved football. While he got me into the game, I got him into baseball. He tried to teach me to ride a horse, which after time I was able to pick up. Being a city guy, it took me a long time to trust horses, even the gentle ones. I ate Mexican food I'd never heard of before, and Jasper discovered that true Chicago style pizza was the shit. We played chess, and I taught him how to swear in Irish. I learned just how crazy limber he was, and how fun that was.

.After about a month of living together, I came home with the papers officially making me, Edward Masen again.

"Jazz? Baby, where are you? Got great news!" I hollered as I wandered through our house.

"Up here, Darlin.'" Jesus, his accent was so hot.

I found him in our bedroom, stretched out naked on the bed with only a cowboy hat on. His hands were tucked behind his head, his hat tipped low. His ankles crossed in a casual pose. My dick swelled at the sight.

"You mentioned news?" he drawled softly, as I hungrily stared at his beautiful, body – lean yet firm muscles that had me begging to touch.

"Huh, oh right." I held up the papers. "I'm officially Edward Masen now."

"Well now, Edward, how about you come over here and let me give you a proper Texas welcome."

He stood and walked over in slow, sexy way, yet made quick work of stripping off my clothes; that take-charge Jasper back in force. I let him push me down on the bed and waited to see what my baby wanted. My trust in him had only grown stronger in our time together.

"So Cowboy, how come you're wearing your hat?" I teased shakily as he sucked on my dick.

He released me with a "pop" and smiled up at me. "Well, I felt like going for a ride."

I bit back a groan and said, "Yeah?"

"Yes, in fact I was thinking about going bareback riding."

His eyes twinkled with laughter at my stunned expression. Bareback meant long term, serious commitment. I was all for it, but I didn't want Jazz to feel rushed.

"Baby, are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

He went back to sucking me, and I pushed my fingers into his hair. God, I loved his golden, soft hair.

He backed off and got himself ready. I was hard as hell watching his fingers move in and out of his ass.

"Jazz," I broke out. Christ, he slayed me.

He straddled my hips and slowly impaled himself on my dick. I bit my lip. Shit, so tight and hot. I could feel every bit of him. Bare. Fuck, my brain was overloading.

I let him control the tempo for awhile but then grasped his hips and thrust up, hitting his prostate. He yelled out as I continued to pump up into him.

His ass clenched around me milking my cock as he came with a shout. For the first time ever, my seed shot hot into Jasper's channel, and I moaned out in the primal satisfaction it gave me.

Later, when we caught our breath, I stroked his hair. "Jazz, that was fucking amazing. I've never felt anything like it."

He sighed happily, "Mmmhhhmmm, so good. I could feel all of you."

"Love you, Jazz."

"Love you too, Edward."

* * *

**Christmas, One Year Later**

Jazz opened the large box next. "Holy shit, this is awesome. Shaun White would weep if he saw this beauty."

Grinning at his enthusiasm over his new snowboard I said, "Well he did sound a little broken up when he told me it was one of his favorite custom designs."

He looked up at me in amazement, "You talked to Shaun White. THE Shaun White? This is his design?"

"Yep, I did some work for him, so he was very happy to help design a board for you. In fact, you have a standing invitation to go boarding with him."

I grinned at the dumbstruck look on my baby's face. I continued as I handed him another present, "I thought we'd go somewhere to break in your board."

He opened the small envelope, "Tickets to Vermont."

He looked up at me with a hopeful look as I met his eyes and paused briefly before asking the most important question of my life, "Jasper, will you marry me?"

Even knowing Jazz was never predictable, I wasn't quite expecting the war whoop and being tackled, but I loved every minute of it.

"Yes! Yes! Love you, darlin'," he said against my lips.

I told him I loved him in both English and Irish and rambled on for awhile about my feelings. Jesus, I could really be mushy at times.

He put his finger to my lips, "Edward, I have a great idea."

Jasper always had good ideas.

"Let's go upstairs and celebrate."

Yep, the man was a genius, and he was all mine.

I must have said some of that out loud because Jazz chuckled, "Oh, yeah, Sugar. I'm all yours. Now let's go upstairs."

* * *

The loud pounding on the door knocked me out of my memories, and I focused on finishing knotting my tie as Emmett yelled through the door. "Edward, hurry up. We've got exactly 15 minutes before Rose has to pee again."

I heard a loud smack and a muffled exclamation as Emmett's pregnant wife took him to task.

I chuckled, "Be right there!"

I joined Emmett, Rose, and Jasper's father. Emmett, while looking handsome in a tux, was digging at his collar like it was strangling him. Rose looked coolly elegant in a white suit dress, despite her large baby bump. Jasper's dad looked distinguished in his tux, black Stetson and bolo tie.

Also attending were Sam and his new wife, Rebecca both looking beautiful with their wedding finery. Not only had Sam made sure Black's family was safe, he'd unexpectedly fallen in love with one of Jake's older sisters. I smiled at how well things had worked out for them.

Jasper entered leading Brandon gallantly on his arm. They made quite picture. Her tiny, pale and pretty, with wispy black hair whose white dress made her look like an angel to his tall, blond good looks encased in a dashing tux. His eyes locked on me as he gently guided his friend over to the others. He kissed her cheek and hugged his father before coming to stand by me.

My throat tight with love, I gave him a half smile. "Ready?"

"Never more than anything in my life."

As I clasped his hand to turn to the man presiding over our wedding, I hear a faint rustle from the doorway and turned. Standing there, in a lovely dress and large hat was Esme. I gave her a big smile in surprise as she gave a small wave and joined the others. I hadn't known if she was going to be able to attend.

My heart constricted as a warm wave hit me. I realized that I finally had what I'd always desired but had never voiced, even to myself. I had a family.

I turned back to my lover, my best friend, and my partner, and I saw that he felt it too. I mouthed "I love you" as the ceremony began.

He squeezed my hand, and his brown eyes shined the promise of a lifetime.

* * *

Thank you all for reading my story! I've really enjoyed writing about these two and will miss them.


	15. AN News

Exciting News!

My debut book "The Gift" has released. It's a m/m short story for Decadent Publishing. If interested, it's available at all major ebook sellers.

Blurb:

At twenty-two, rancher Wyatt Malone sacrificed almost everything, including the Dom he served and loved, to raise his younger brothers. Now, with the ranch running well, his grown up siblings surprise him with a trip to a Caribbean paradise and a date from Madame Evangeline's 1Night Stand. Taking his courage in hand, he fills out an application that bares his soul for a single night of surrender to a nearly forgotten passion.

Rafael is a Dom without a sub. His desires exceed the available men in the dungeon he frequents and memories of rejected love keep him aloof. Can the submission of a Montana cowboy free him or will the date be nothing more than another meaningless scene?

~BC

Writing as V.S. Morgan


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